1
00:00:18,180 --> 00:00:23,180
YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT

2
00:00:25,340 --> 00:00:27,860
I was three years old, I was in a park,

3
00:00:28,020 --> 00:00:29,760
and a little girl said:

4
00:00:29,860 --> 00:00:33,080
"I'm not playing with you. Go away. You're black."
That was the first time.

5
00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:36,820
I remember why
I felt so bad about it.

6
00:00:36,980 --> 00:00:39,420
And I still remember where I was...

7
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:41,120
I still see it clearly.

8
00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:43,220
- 3 years old, you were little.
- Yes.

9
00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:46,200
I realized it
because I had a crush.

10
00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:47,960
I was in love with one and

11
00:00:48,060 --> 00:00:51,380
he told me: "Never, ever.
You're black."

12
00:00:51,540 --> 00:00:55,180
I gave my hand
father to cross

13
00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:57,680
the road when a
little girl my age said:

14
00:00:57,780 --> 00:01:01,060
"Look, mom: � 
ugly because it's black."

15
00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:03,580
I remember when I was seven

16
00:01:03,740 --> 00:01:06,940
I said something to
my mother, like:

17
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:09,040
"So, I..."

18
00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:12,260
It almost killed me
when I said it...

19
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:14,280
I said something like:

20
00:01:14,380 --> 00:01:16,460
"She's black, he's Arab...

21
00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:17,960
"and she's normal."

22
00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:21,760
I grew up in Senegal, so for
regarding discrimination...

23
00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:24,660
only later did I
discovered she was black.

24
00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:27,900
I lived in a place where
being black was the norm.

25
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:32,320
We saw so few white people
that we weren't sure existed.

26
00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:34,420
Being black was the norm.

27
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:39,740
I think, grown up
in a working-class neighborhood,

28
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:43,980
I wasn't completely
aware of the color of my skin.

29
00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:46,080
When we talked about it,

30
00:01:46,180 --> 00:01:49,260
it was to take
around each other.

31
00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:51,080
Let's say, for example:

32
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:54,780
"You are from Mali,
you are from Senegal..."

33
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:58,980
Or between Arabs and blacks, or
Spanish and Portuguese.

34
00:01:59,140 --> 00:02:03,020
So, we didn't have
never the feeling...

35
00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:05,640
to mock someone
because it was different.

36
00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:10,060
When I left that environment,

37
00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:13,780
I realized I was

38
00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:16,020
different because I had...

39
00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:18,360
people said things like:

40
00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:20,820
"but how well you speak French!"

41
00:02:20,980 --> 00:02:25,780
Or: "You have fine features
for a black one. You're cute."

42
00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:28,420
I was like, "What are you guys talking about?"

43
00:02:28,580 --> 00:02:30,700
A conductor arrives on the train.

44
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:33,940
There were many people
in the compartment,

45
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:36,540
with many black, white...

46
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:37,960
He shakes my father.

47
00:02:38,060 --> 00:02:39,920
I was awake.

48
00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:41,200
He wakes up my father.

49
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:42,760
I was shocked...

50
00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:47,940
My father is big and strong.
How was it possible to treat him like this?

51
00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:50,280
He wakes him up: "Your documents,
sir!"

52
00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:53,460
My father says something
like "My documents?"

53
00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:55,740
Suddenly I saw him like this

54
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,680
small next to this guy
which looked like nothing.

55
00:02:58,780 --> 00:03:01,560
He took out his documents, then
his ticket

56
00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:03,240
and said:
“There, sir.”

57
00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:05,400
The guy takes the documents
without saying anything.

58
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:09,580
My father offers him some chocolate
but he replies, “It hurts your teeth.”

59
00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:11,600
I experienced it as
a very violent experience.

60
00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:15,700
Suddenly I saw that
there was no equality in this country.

61
00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:18,600
It was a bad sign.
So much for my father.

62
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:22,720
On my mother's side, we have
accompanied my sister to kindergarten, when

63
00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:26,100
the director told us:

64
00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:28,740
“Here, we feed
first to the Belgians."

65
00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:31,240
I said to myself:

66
00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:33,860
"Welcome to this world

67
00:03:34,020 --> 00:03:36,660
in which we will have to fight."

68
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:40,060
This is how I discovered myself to be

69
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,460
black and to be
considered inferior.

70
00:03:43,780 --> 00:03:46,220
When I was a little girl,

71
00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:48,120
I discovered they were still there

72
00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:49,880
- most had already left -

73
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:53,940
but there were still a few shops
who sold chocolate hands.

74
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,420
And chocolate hands

75
00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:58,620
they were black hands.

76
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:03,380
They are related to the practice of
cutting off hands in the Belgian Congo

77
00:04:04,780 --> 00:04:06,720
during colonialism, when

78
00:04:06,820 --> 00:04:10,540
the Belgians were settling in the Congo.

79
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:14,060
I remember how shocked I felt.

80
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:18,460
I felt like I was

81
00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:20,620
in danger even though I was "at home".

82
00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:24,540
Banania biscuits, Bamboula
and sweet "dark brown"...

83
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:28,980
When I went to a pastry shop
and I saw a sweet "dark brown",

84
00:04:29,140 --> 00:04:33,100
I didn't feel welcome.

85
00:04:33,260 --> 00:04:35,980
It's a very thing
violent and aggressive

86
00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:38,212
when you see it
at the age of nine.

87
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,700
Then, they're all there
the insults and jokes

88
00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:45,780
offensives made
from the other kids.

89
00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:49,580
We remember it every time
day of our life.

90
00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:52,320
Even today. Even when
let's try to forget it

91
00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:55,620
when we look for a
apartment, or a job

92
00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:59,140
we are always brought back to
our skin color.

93
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,780
You can never forget it.

94
00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:08,860
IT'S LIKE A MILLEFEUGLIE CAKE

95
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:14,380
I was born in Brittany.
I spent a while

96
00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:17,700
of my life there and me
I feel really Breton.

97
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:21,660
I also love the Sarthe Given
that I grew up in Le Mans.

98
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:25,740
That said, the
my education

99
00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:28,140
Congolese and mine
Influences are Afro.

100
00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:31,780
Really... there
my "Africanness" yes

101
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:34,852
very enriched
hanging out with people from the Antilles..

102
00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:38,680
or even Brazilians.

103
00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:42,540
I don't feel confined
into a single identity.

104
00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:44,680
I'm really Afro.

105
00:05:44,780 --> 00:05:47,020
I really call myself Afro

106
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:51,900
with some diversity...

107
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:56,700
But I had a Congolese education.
I am very proud to be Congolese.

108
00:05:56,860 --> 00:05:58,680
Very proud to be

109
00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:01,100
a Tetela, to be a Bantu.

110
00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:05,940
I was born in France, I am
I grew up and studied in France.

111
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,180
I define myself as French.

112
00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:11,500
For me I am French.

113
00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:13,480
There is no doubt about this.

114
00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:18,540
I am a French woman
with different identities.

115
00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:22,260
And I feel at home here.

116
00:06:22,420 --> 00:06:25,960
Let's just say I'm questioning it
my "Frenchness". It's not clear.

117
00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:27,760
Yes, I'm French.

118
00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:30,300
I live in France but I ask myself questions

119
00:06:30,460 --> 00:06:33,140
about my place in France.

120
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:36,324
Which doesn't mean that
I don't like this country.

121
00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:38,500
I'm just wondering.

122
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:41,380
I really like the term "Afropea".

123
00:06:41,540 --> 00:06:43,160
It suits me really well.

124
00:06:43,260 --> 00:06:45,660
It touched me a lot...

125
00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:50,020
I read it for the first time
in a book by L�onora Miano.

126
00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:52,240
I immediately loved it.

127
00:06:52,340 --> 00:06:54,200
It's not that I'm torn...

128
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:57,900
people often say
to be fought.

129
00:06:58,060 --> 00:06:59,960
Maybe for some, but not for me.

130
00:07:00,060 --> 00:07:03,540
I want to reconcile this

131
00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:05,700
in a healthier, more peaceful way:

132
00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:09,140
the fact of being born in France

133
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,080
and Afro-descendant being
black and female...

134
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:15,540
All this is part of me.
I don't want it to be contradictory.

135
00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:21,060
The term "Afropea" allows me
to reconcile all this in a way

136
00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:23,640
a little calmer because I am
very angry. Very...

137
00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,560
I'm an idealist
angry, in fact.

138
00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:29,260
And this term suits me
for this reason.

139
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:35,860
Finally, there was a term for hookup
my French and Afro-Caribbean culture.

140
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:39,180
I prefer the term
"afro-descendant".

141
00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:42,300
It is more complete than "afropea".

142
00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:47,300
I see myself clearly
as an Afro-descendant.

143
00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:50,020
I just like "afro".

144
00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:53,540
Everyone must
find what

145
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:56,108
defines it better, but
I like "afro".

146
00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:59,180
I think he understands

147
00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:02,860
the color of my skin...

148
00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:07,460
but also my education,

149
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:09,800
my inspirations...

150
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:11,720
So, for me, the term afro

151
00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:14,900
It's the simplest
and the most appropriate.

152
00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:17,220
I have two African origins:

153
00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:20,220
I am half Rwandan and half Zairean.

154
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:24,020
My first documents I had
They were from Zaire.

155
00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:26,480
I was a political refugee
with my parents who

156
00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:29,660
they fought there
dictatorship at the time.

157
00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:31,940
And then we went to Belgium.

158
00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:35,100
I was about three and a half years old.

159
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:39,500
I became French in 2002.

160
00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:44,540
My nationality is French
It's pretty recent.

161
00:08:45,420 --> 00:08:49,180
When I became French,
I took a French name: Am�lie.

162
00:08:49,340 --> 00:08:51,340
So, I have two names.

163
00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:54,660
All of this contributes

164
00:08:54,820 --> 00:08:57,280
to my personality
and my stratification,

165
00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:59,920
in complexity
of who I can be, beyond

166
00:09:00,020 --> 00:09:02,320
of simple Zina,
the black girl.

167
00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:06,340
I know what I'm saying
It's caricatural, but...

168
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:10,820
before, I was Rwandan, Congolese,

169
00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:13,780
Belgian, then later French,

170
00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:15,600
Am�lie, etc.

171
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:17,600
But I'm still Zina.

172
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:21,780
This is my layering,
like a kind of yarrow.

173
00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:30,020
LIVE HAPPY, LIVE HIDDEN

174
00:09:31,940 --> 00:09:36,540
I grew up with a
very simple concept:

175
00:09:36,780 --> 00:09:39,620
if you're black, you have to
work double.

176
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:44,140
My parents and my grandparents
they all said the same thing:

177
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:47,100
"You will always have to work
more than the others."

178
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:50,860
Being black meant
work harder.

179
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:52,760
It meant...

180
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:56,900
respect every rule
to avoid having problems.

181
00:09:57,540 --> 00:10:00,060
I always felt it...

182
00:10:00,220 --> 00:10:05,140
For my parents, education,
school first of all.

183
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:08,140
It was the only way to succeed.

184
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,660
So, we had to

185
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:12,820
work twice as hard because...

186
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,480
for my parents, this
it wasn't my country.

187
00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:20,740
There was this awareness:
you are French but you are not at home.

188
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,760
My parents always said:

189
00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:27,300
"You have to study at school.
You have to get good grades.

190
00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:29,780
"This is the only way out.

191
00:10:29,940 --> 00:10:34,380
"And we didn't come
here because you are failures.

192
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:37,140
"You have to go further than us."

193
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,300
I always heard this talk.

194
00:10:41,260 --> 00:10:44,380
You have to be really good
very good at your job.

195
00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:48,580
Why, if they can
replace you, they will.

196
00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:52,020
And it's like... if they hire you,

197
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:56,140
It's because they have no choice.

198
00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:59,340
I tried to be the best in school.

199
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,400
I tried to always be
well combed, well dressed.

200
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:06,540
I was careful about everything: a
how I spoke, how I dressed...

201
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,828
to never be late
at school,

202
00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:10,980
never be slow...

203
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:15,540
The goal was to be
the opposite of every stereotype.

204
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,980
There was fear of the judgment of the

205
00:11:20,140 --> 00:11:22,000
white, therefore
we had to be perfect

206
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:25,348
as for ours
clothes, our hair...

207
00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:28,000
When I was a little girl,
my mother always made me

208
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:32,020
a nice chignon, it dressed me up
for good,

209
00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:35,740
or the house had to be
impeccable, if we had guests.

210
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:38,800
So, we rarely had guests.
It was too stressful.

211
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,640
The gaze of white people...

212
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,900
It was as if...

213
00:11:43,060 --> 00:11:47,740
we were fighting the cliché
of "how dirty black people are".

214
00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:49,916
So, we had to be flawless.

215
00:11:50,260 --> 00:11:53,780
It's horrible. If I'm ever late

216
00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:56,680
I'm afraid they'll say, "Black people
I'm always late."

217
00:11:56,780 --> 00:11:59,220
It's those little things like that.

218
00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:03,940
You always have to fight against
the image that others have of black people.

219
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:07,500
And you don't necessarily...

220
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,860
you are not that image,
you are a person.

221
00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:12,800
You are not black or black.

222
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:17,300
There is a constant push and pull.
Which is exhausting.

223
00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:22,860
In the show they proposed to me,

224
00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:26,380
I find myself playing a cannibal.

225
00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:30,980
I have to lick my partner, who has
tomato sauce all over the body.

226
00:12:33,740 --> 00:12:36,540
Wanting to live again,
want to protect

227
00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:38,700
Wanting to breathe

228
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,160
Jump on you
to rescue you from death,

229
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:44,836
revive you, steal
your last breath.

230
00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:47,460
Relive eternally
your last breath,

231
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:49,860
wanting to absorb your last breath...

232
00:12:57,740 --> 00:12:59,740
I bring my armpit close to your nose.

233
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,100
I love that you really love me.

234
00:13:03,940 --> 00:13:08,020
I will breastfeed you as long as you have milk
it will not turn into blood.

235
00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:13,540
I will lick you until the blood
it will not turn into milk.

236
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,800
I thought, “Shit!
Everything we wanted to avoid"

237
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:20,660
When we started
work on love cannibalism,

238
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,120
we thought about the iconography
of the cannibal.

239
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,800
For the majority of
people, cannibals are black.

240
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:28,340
We searched for jokes:

241
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:31,580
there were only jokes
about blacks, about tribes...

242
00:13:31,740 --> 00:13:35,060
But, when did we
our research, the cannibals

243
00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:39,780
they were always men or
white women, sometimes couples...

244
00:13:39,940 --> 00:13:44,740
Not even one was black,
among the 50 best-known cannibals.

245
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:49,020
I recite something and forget
the color of my skin.

246
00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:51,700
But just working on...

247
00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:56,260
about the idea that, when I'm in a relationship,
I feel like I'm feeding on the other.

248
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:59,220
But what you will see
the average spectator

249
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,760
It's because I eat mine
white partner on stage.

250
00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:04,240
I was so angry and
I thought, "Shit!"

251
00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:06,380
Then I said, “No.

252
00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:09,260
I can't back out now.

253
00:14:09,780 --> 00:14:13,320
Otherwise, I wouldn't have done it
what I, Rebecca, wanted to do."

254
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:18,020
I start saying, “I do it
because I'm black..."

255
00:14:18,820 --> 00:14:22,820
Anyway, that was all
quite complicated.

256
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:24,280
What should I do?

257
00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:28,500
I think the majority will stop
to the stereotype of cannibalism,

258
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:31,340
or I think about my message more

259
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,572
deep and to me
yourself as an artist?

260
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:36,780
For a long time,
when I looked

261
00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:40,460
the news and yes
it was about a crime

262
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:44,900
or some problem, I prayed
that blacks were not involved.

263
00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:49,500
I felt this terribly.

264
00:14:49,660 --> 00:14:53,940
I was afraid that if it had been
a person of color,

265
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,680
I would have been associated with them.

266
00:14:55,780 --> 00:14:57,760
It's different for white people.

267
00:14:57,860 --> 00:15:01,020
When a white combines
something, it's his problem.

268
00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:03,920
But, if it is a person of
color, you are necessarily

269
00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:08,580
involved and probably
you are in relationship with her.

270
00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:12,500
It's offensive because
if I had to...

271
00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:15,180
if I asked a white person:

272
00:15:15,340 --> 00:15:21,180
"Keep your distance
by the terrorist Breivik?"

273
00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:24,420
He'd be like, "That's stupid.
I don't know him!"

274
00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:27,680
So why Muslims
should they know terrorists?

275
00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:30,180
Often, you find yourself
somewhere and

276
00:15:30,340 --> 00:15:32,460
a black guy does some shit.

277
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:35,140
I don't know...

278
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:39,060
A black starts to
ask for money, or to sing...

279
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:41,160
or playing the bongo.

280
00:15:41,260 --> 00:15:43,000
You think, "Fuck, a black guy!"

281
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:45,340
We often have this reaction:

282
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,940
"She'll be involved!"

283
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:50,300
There's always that thing...

284
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:53,380
It's exhausting, because...

285
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:58,220
white people don't think like that.

286
00:15:58,380 --> 00:16:01,340
They don't say, "Fuck! A white guy..."

287
00:16:01,820 --> 00:16:05,080
I want those who have a
privilege realize it.

288
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:07,740
But this is a little...

289
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,080
the privilege of innocence
about your color...

290
00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:12,300
It's a bit...

291
00:16:12,460 --> 00:16:14,460
I wish we all had it.

292
00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:16,580
My parents...

293
00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:21,380
they lived hidden here in France.

294
00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:23,980
They wanted to go unnoticed.

295
00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:27,460
My father always said:
"Never talk about politics...

296
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:32,300
I don't want trouble.
If there's a problem, just run away."

297
00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:35,316
His motto was "Live
happy, living hidden".

298
00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:39,700
From my Rwandan upbringing
who always lives in diaspora,

299
00:16:39,860 --> 00:16:42,360
I was told: "When
you get somewhere,

300
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,500
observe and learn.
In Rome, do as the Romans do."

301
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:47,780
Don't look for trouble, basically.

302
00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:50,360
Especially for mine
parents, a person

303
00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:54,540
of color should
go unnoticed.

304
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:57,700
If you are black, make yourself invisible.

305
00:16:57,860 --> 00:16:59,900
Get lost in the crowd...

306
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:03,500
be as invisible as possible.

307
00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:06,340
My parents really believed it.

308
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:09,540
Many parents have
that mentality again.

309
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:13,860
They often maintained a
low profile and silent.

310
00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:17,580
And they saw that it worked for them.

311
00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:20,620
It wasn't the best, but what if
they made it go well.

312
00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:24,820
So, they tried to
inculcate this in us too.

313
00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:27,300
"Are you being bullied? Shut up.

314
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:30,180
Don't you look like the others? Try it.

315
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,160
Are you different from normal?
try to be like him."

316
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:35,900
I know it will never be enough
French for white French people.

317
00:17:36,060 --> 00:17:38,060
Whatever he does.

318
00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:42,380
This is why
I am against the policy of

319
00:17:42,540 --> 00:17:46,480
respectability to try to demonstrate
that I'm different from other black people.

320
00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:48,320
Whatever
you do it, they'll say

321
00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:52,940
always: "Do it like this
because she is a foreigner."

322
00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:58,020
When they tell me about bad guys
Muslims, I talk to them about Breivik.

323
00:17:58,460 --> 00:18:00,476
Tell me about Boko
Haram and I'll tell you

324
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,020
of others who have
done worse.

325
00:18:06,060 --> 00:18:09,640
For all these things, I want there
consider themselves human beings first and foremost.

326
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,620
Not stressing
the misdeeds of blacks.

327
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:14,860
I can do the same for white people.

328
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:17,020
"Slavery is your fault too."

329
00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:25,260
I'm not going to negotiate.

330
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,640
It goes both ways.

331
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:32,680
If you want me to be responsible for all the
actions of blacks, let's do the math,

332
00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:35,060
We'll see who comes out worse.

333
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:43,700
THEY CAN'T BE SEEN BECAUSE THEY ARE WHITE

334
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:49,076
I think a certain separatism
ethnic can be healthy.

335
00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:54,180
It doesn't mean anything to me
that closes itself off to others,

336
00:18:54,340 --> 00:18:58,260
it's about creating a community
able to deal with the others.

337
00:18:58,420 --> 00:19:01,060
Sometimes I feel like it
to only be with black people.

338
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:05,540
There are times when
we're all together and that's fine.

339
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:10,220
But some fights can't be
including if you are not black.

340
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:13,380
We have to fight them ourselves.

341
00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:15,080
I'm getting it back.

342
00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:18,500
It's not because they say
which is a bad thing.

343
00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:20,600
I find it really positive.

344
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:24,540
Let's talk about separatism
ethnic group in government.

345
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:29,540
Again, no one talks about it
because they are the point of reference.

346
00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:35,900
They are not seen because they are white, perhaps.

347
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:38,620
I think that's why.

348
00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:41,140
How can I say...?

349
00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:51,820
When they are together, not
they think, "We're all white."

350
00:19:52,220 --> 00:19:55,180
We never talk about
white separatism

351
00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:59,180
because you think it's "normal"
that white people stand together

352
00:19:59,340 --> 00:20:03,300
and black people should
integrate with white groups.

353
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:06,900
But never stay among them.
This is "separatism".

354
00:20:07,060 --> 00:20:09,380
And that's a bad thing.

355
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:11,620
It is never seen as positive.

356
00:20:11,780 --> 00:20:14,780
Some blacks want
just being among them

357
00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:19,020
because they get along
or because they like each other.

358
00:20:19,180 --> 00:20:21,460
No: it is seen as sectarian.

359
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,620
A film with only people
of color is a "black film".

360
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:27,820
But one with only white people...
It's a movie.

361
00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:31,180
White communitarianism...

362
00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:34,060
It's a reality,
of course it exists.

363
00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,220
I saw it in my...

364
00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:40,820
in my environment,
where I grew up,

365
00:20:40,980 --> 00:20:43,340
to the school, which
it was very sectarian.

366
00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:46,076
That's what I call it
the "old France".

367
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,900
That is, very pious families,
very Catholic,

368
00:20:53,140 --> 00:20:55,780
"old money", as
the Americans would say.

369
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,980
Important families.

370
00:20:59,140 --> 00:21:02,100
A little money, not too much.
Don't show off.

371
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:03,960
Not the nouveau riche.

372
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:06,000
And they're very communal.

373
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:11,860
I draw a parallel between
communitarianism and social mixing.

374
00:21:12,420 --> 00:21:15,420
Today everyone is talking
of social mixing.

375
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,620
I'm talking about the suburbs
poorest in Paris.

376
00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:21,060
But that's not where we need it.

377
00:21:21,220 --> 00:21:24,240
We need it in
richer neighborhoods, to the west.

378
00:21:24,340 --> 00:21:28,484
That's why I chose to live in
a richer neighborhood, Saint-Germain.

379
00:21:29,340 --> 00:21:32,100
I wanted to highlight
this aspect

380
00:21:32,260 --> 00:21:36,340
living in this
city: a real city,

381
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:39,580
where you see how
the other half lives.

382
00:21:39,740 --> 00:21:43,620
Sometimes, I'm really surprised
from what I see on Sunday.

383
00:21:43,780 --> 00:21:47,860
There are families with 5 or 6 children

384
00:21:48,020 --> 00:21:50,740
who go to mass with...

385
00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:55,420
really elegant clothes
on Sunday, everyone clear...

386
00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:57,560
It is hyper-sectarian.

387
00:21:57,660 --> 00:22:00,660
This is where the mix comes in
social should happen:

388
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:03,460
taking people
of all origins,

389
00:22:03,620 --> 00:22:05,860
who want to come here.

390
00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:10,940
There are many facilities
cultural and sporting events here.

391
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:14,660
It's really beautiful.
Yet, it is a white city.

392
00:22:18,140 --> 00:22:22,860
NEVER TOUCH MY HAIR

393
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:27,400
Barbie was my role model
beauty. My white friend.

394
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:29,540
I wanted to shake my head

395
00:22:29,860 --> 00:22:31,440
like in the Or�al advertisement.

396
00:22:31,540 --> 00:22:35,380
Since you were a child,
see these beautiful girls

397
00:22:35,540 --> 00:22:38,020
white, but none
image of black women

398
00:22:38,180 --> 00:22:41,780
with their frizzy hair,
which they are proud of...

399
00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:44,620
Beauty meant
have straight hair.

400
00:22:46,380 --> 00:22:50,300
When I realized that
I wasn't accepting myself...

401
00:22:50,460 --> 00:22:52,780
That's when I started a job

402
00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:55,880
of valuing myself.

403
00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:57,960
With my frizzy hair,

404
00:22:58,060 --> 00:22:59,920
learning how to make them
pleasure, that's when

405
00:23:00,020 --> 00:23:02,500
I felt liberated.

406
00:23:03,220 --> 00:23:08,540
In a society that gives you images
where you never see yourself represented,

407
00:23:09,260 --> 00:23:11,340
Accepting yourself is hard work.

408
00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:15,460
In my memories from
little girl, I had hair

409
00:23:15,620 --> 00:23:17,840
straight, in braids because
I wanted long hair.

410
00:23:17,940 --> 00:23:20,020
To be honest,

411
00:23:20,180 --> 00:23:22,980
I wanted hair that
were shaking in the wind.

412
00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:26,740
For me, recover i
own natural hair,

413
00:23:27,100 --> 00:23:30,700
It's a way for a woman
of color to accept their own

414
00:23:30,860 --> 00:23:33,900
image and not to say: "I am
black, but I'm like you."

415
00:23:34,060 --> 00:23:37,180
I have an afro hairstyle
80% of the time.

416
00:23:37,340 --> 00:23:38,760
It can be quite bulky,
therefore having strangers every day

417
00:23:38,860 --> 00:23:43,700
who touch her in the street,
It's my daily bread.

418
00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:45,280
I can't stand it.

419
00:23:45,380 --> 00:23:48,500
I feel like... a poodle.

420
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:51,380
People touch it because

421
00:23:51,540 --> 00:23:53,700
Is he cute, or is he curly...

422
00:23:53,860 --> 00:23:56,100
It's annoying because
something intimate.

423
00:23:59,860 --> 00:24:02,940
I feel like mine
privacy was invaded.

424
00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:05,500
They don't ask my permission.

425
00:24:05,940 --> 00:24:07,800
And I find it to be...

426
00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:11,740
quite a violent thing to do.

427
00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:14,040
My reflection is that of
slap his hand.

428
00:24:14,140 --> 00:24:16,040
I'm not that quick with words.

429
00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:19,420
Unfortunately, my answer

430
00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:20,800
it is not so ready and immediate.

431
00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:23,780
So, I often respond
with your hands.

432
00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:27,180
If you touch me, you
I slap my hand.

433
00:24:27,460 --> 00:24:29,240
I think the opposite.

434
00:24:29,340 --> 00:24:32,220
I wonder, but me
I would never allow you to play

435
00:24:32,380 --> 00:24:35,580
with bangs or i
someone's curls

436
00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:38,500
that I don't know?
Or even if I knew him?

437
00:24:38,660 --> 00:24:41,060
It's the same thing.
I would never do it.

438
00:24:41,220 --> 00:24:43,852
So why someone
should he do it with us?

439
00:24:44,740 --> 00:24:48,220
Which brings us to the simple one
answer: that we are still one

440
00:24:48,380 --> 00:24:51,908
some form of disorder from
colonial post-traumatic stress,

441
00:24:52,020 --> 00:24:55,260
where a black is a kind of...

442
00:24:55,740 --> 00:24:58,380
nice object that you can touch.

443
00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:01,180
You can be intrusive and touch him.

444
00:25:01,340 --> 00:25:03,412
Black women are infantilized.

445
00:25:03,540 --> 00:25:07,220
We are still treated
like little girls.

446
00:25:07,380 --> 00:25:12,260
You can pat us on the
head, you can touch or caress us.

447
00:25:12,860 --> 00:25:14,520
When you're an adult,

448
00:25:14,620 --> 00:25:17,220
It is completely inappropriate.

449
00:25:17,380 --> 00:25:20,300
So, today, not
they shouldn't even try.

450
00:25:20,460 --> 00:25:23,820
I was recently with a colleague,

451
00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:26,556
a girl, a secretary
with whom I worked.

452
00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:30,320
First of all it was in the location
of a secretary...

453
00:25:30,420 --> 00:25:33,220
France is a lot
hierarchical, like it or not.

454
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:37,260
Everyone has their own rank and class.

455
00:25:37,420 --> 00:25:41,020
A social worker

456
00:25:41,180 --> 00:25:43,040
comes and goes uh uh...

457
00:25:43,140 --> 00:25:45,980
as he touched her hair.

458
00:25:46,620 --> 00:25:48,440
We couldn't believe it.

459
00:25:48,540 --> 00:25:50,980
We didn't know where to start.

460
00:25:51,140 --> 00:25:53,480
We got stuck
and we both stared at each other.

461
00:25:53,580 --> 00:25:57,060
We stared at it and we have them
said: "But.. it's not good."

462
00:25:59,060 --> 00:26:01,880
The worst part is that,
when you react and say to the person:

463
00:26:01,980 --> 00:26:05,780
“Don't ever touch my hair. Don't
I'm your pet",

464
00:26:05,940 --> 00:26:10,060
they always react to the
same way, with the same tone:

465
00:26:10,220 --> 00:26:14,340
"Take it easy! Relax..."

466
00:26:14,940 --> 00:26:17,620
You look anxious
or hysterical...

467
00:26:19,980 --> 00:26:25,500
But if I were to come and put
hand on your ass, how would you react?

468
00:26:25,660 --> 00:26:29,660
It's the same thing. My hair
and my ass belong to me.

469
00:26:29,820 --> 00:26:31,820
You can touch them if I let you.

470
00:26:35,180 --> 00:26:39,180
I LOVE REDS

471
00:26:45,340 --> 00:26:47,240
I am truly privileged
to be able to

472
00:26:47,340 --> 00:26:50,180
perform in shows
of burlesque.

473
00:26:50,580 --> 00:26:54,020
It's a privilege on many levels.

474
00:26:54,180 --> 00:26:57,740
First of all, no
everyone has the opportunity

475
00:26:57,900 --> 00:27:01,220
to have an outlet
artistic and creative,

476
00:27:01,380 --> 00:27:03,120
or to be on the scene.

477
00:27:03,220 --> 00:27:05,908
For a woman, it's an art
quite particular.

478
00:27:06,060 --> 00:27:09,820
It is frowned upon and has
very negative connotations.

479
00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:14,360
As a black woman

480
00:27:14,460 --> 00:27:18,260
in an environment that is for
over 90% white,

481
00:27:18,420 --> 00:27:23,100
I'm also lucky to have
a status that I have built for myself

482
00:27:23,940 --> 00:27:26,280
and to have this
character on stage,

483
00:27:26,380 --> 00:27:28,700
that I can embody
how I like it.

484
00:27:28,860 --> 00:27:31,300
The slightly glamorous woman...

485
00:27:32,380 --> 00:27:35,860
which is an unexpected role
for a black woman.

486
00:27:36,660 --> 00:27:40,620
I would have expected to wear it
a skirt made of bananas.

487
00:27:40,780 --> 00:27:43,180
That's the stereotype.

488
00:27:44,220 --> 00:27:47,460
But black glamor icons
they existed

489
00:27:47,620 --> 00:27:49,400
and the time has come

490
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:53,900
to show this too
side of black femininity.

491
00:27:54,740 --> 00:27:56,740
Yes, I'm very...

492
00:27:57,340 --> 00:27:59,200
I'm very shiny, aren't I?

493
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:03,060
I'm the burlesque artist
more glittering than all of Paris.

494
00:28:04,140 --> 00:28:06,620
The image of the black pin-up

495
00:28:06,780 --> 00:28:08,640
it is not valued.

496
00:28:08,740 --> 00:28:11,540
But in the 50s and 60s they were there

497
00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:14,860
large black burlesque figures.

498
00:28:15,020 --> 00:28:18,540
But the world of vintage
he deleted everything.

499
00:28:31,260 --> 00:28:34,380
Repeat after me: "Loulou Champagne!"

500
00:30:45,020 --> 00:30:47,460
You can be black and vintage.

501
00:30:47,620 --> 00:30:48,600
You can be black
and love vintage,

502
00:30:48,700 --> 00:30:50,600
You can be black
and love glamour

503
00:30:50,700 --> 00:30:53,300
and embody
a charming femme

504
00:30:53,460 --> 00:30:56,220
how fatal
any other woman.

505
00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:01,200
I think there are
There were really two phases.

506
00:31:01,300 --> 00:31:03,300
In the first phase,

507
00:31:03,420 --> 00:31:08,500
I felt totally invisible,
completely undesirable...

508
00:31:08,660 --> 00:31:11,300
I remember that as a child

509
00:31:11,460 --> 00:31:16,300
I had crushes on
these blond kids...

510
00:31:18,140 --> 00:31:20,460
But they were never reciprocated.

511
00:31:20,620 --> 00:31:22,740
I felt completely invisible.

512
00:31:22,900 --> 00:31:25,380
This lasted a long time,

513
00:31:25,780 --> 00:31:27,680
until the end of middle school.

514
00:31:27,780 --> 00:31:33,620
I had all of these
crushes on people, but...

515
00:31:33,940 --> 00:31:36,380
I didn't feel visible at all.

516
00:31:36,540 --> 00:31:41,380
Nobody could imagine
to have a relationship

517
00:31:41,540 --> 00:31:45,580
with me why not
I met their criteria.

518
00:31:45,740 --> 00:31:48,720
So, I moved on from that
to being a fantasy.

519
00:31:48,820 --> 00:31:51,740
When I was a teenager,

520
00:31:53,060 --> 00:31:57,240
one guy said to me, "I heard
that black women are uninhibited in bed."

521
00:31:57,340 --> 00:31:59,860
I was 16 at the time...

522
00:32:00,660 --> 00:32:03,420
I didn't have the right tools then.

523
00:32:03,580 --> 00:32:06,580
Because he told me
something like that?

524
00:32:06,740 --> 00:32:08,360
How come?

525
00:32:08,460 --> 00:32:09,960
I said, "Maybe yes."

526
00:32:10,060 --> 00:32:13,540
So I replied.
But I was ignorant.

527
00:32:14,460 --> 00:32:17,820
I heard comments like that.

528
00:32:17,980 --> 00:32:21,340
Like, "You... I'm sure you're...

529
00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:25,540
I'm sure you are
wild in bed."

530
00:32:26,100 --> 00:32:27,320
Because I was black.

531
00:32:27,420 --> 00:32:31,060
I was young! I was only 15 or 16.

532
00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:34,852
And above all I was a virgin,
so hearing these things...

533
00:32:35,060 --> 00:32:40,180
But no one ever said one
thing like that to my white friends.

534
00:32:40,340 --> 00:32:43,340
"Oh, white women are so..."

535
00:32:43,500 --> 00:32:47,100
No, they're just teenagers
who discover their sexuality.

536
00:32:48,540 --> 00:32:50,540
I have a friend,

537
00:32:51,620 --> 00:32:54,860
and his friends asked him:
"So...?

538
00:32:55,300 --> 00:32:57,900
"How is it? How's it going?"

539
00:32:58,500 --> 00:33:02,020
Pretty intimate things,

540
00:33:02,260 --> 00:33:05,660
as: "Anatomically,

541
00:33:06,140 --> 00:33:07,360
Is it the same thing?"

542
00:33:07,460 --> 00:33:09,460
He was really shocked.

543
00:33:09,620 --> 00:33:12,140
And so do I. What did they think?

544
00:33:12,380 --> 00:33:15,340
We don't have the same ones
white women's bodies?

545
00:33:15,500 --> 00:33:17,500
What does it mean?

546
00:33:17,740 --> 00:33:21,940
There is also this aspect, which
the body of a black woman

547
00:33:23,140 --> 00:33:24,440
is animalised.

548
00:33:24,540 --> 00:33:29,220
In any case, it's not
considered as precious.

549
00:33:34,340 --> 00:33:36,380
This is the violent part,

550
00:33:36,540 --> 00:33:38,892
because it means that
you can own it.

551
00:33:39,540 --> 00:33:42,100
It's like you are
transformed into a thing.

552
00:33:45,340 --> 00:33:48,940
Your femininity is not seen

553
00:33:49,100 --> 00:33:51,080
as precious, nor your humanity.

554
00:33:51,180 --> 00:33:53,900
I remember certain people
white men who me

555
00:33:54,060 --> 00:33:57,460
they immediately imagined
feline and wild.

556
00:33:57,620 --> 00:33:59,620
You know, it was a bit like...

557
00:33:59,780 --> 00:34:03,660
that I would have devoured them.
I never really understood it.

558
00:34:04,460 --> 00:34:06,460
I find that...

559
00:34:07,980 --> 00:34:13,340
the white world still likes it
associating black women with animals.

560
00:34:13,540 --> 00:34:17,220
African women
they are seen as feline.

561
00:34:17,380 --> 00:34:21,300
No, not African women: black women.

562
00:34:22,100 --> 00:34:24,100
"Black girls are horny,

563
00:34:24,220 --> 00:34:26,260
They're sexy, they're sensual."

564
00:34:27,020 --> 00:34:29,020
It's incredible.

565
00:34:31,780 --> 00:34:34,220
I've heard this often myself.

566
00:34:34,380 --> 00:34:36,380
There are people,

567
00:34:37,580 --> 00:34:40,620
often white men,

568
00:34:40,780 --> 00:34:45,220
who fetishize black women...

569
00:34:45,380 --> 00:34:49,580
It's funny because they want...
There are different standards of beauty.

570
00:34:49,740 --> 00:34:52,220
There's the Beyoncé stereotype:

571
00:34:52,380 --> 00:34:57,340
light skinned, mixed race,
with long hair, real or fake...

572
00:34:57,500 --> 00:34:59,580
Rihanna too.

573
00:34:59,740 --> 00:35:02,980
Then, sometimes... me
I'm more of the type

574
00:35:03,140 --> 00:35:05,480
truly African and to some
men like it a lot.

575
00:35:05,580 --> 00:35:09,380
The blacker you are, the more African you are.

576
00:35:09,540 --> 00:35:11,540
Apparently, this excites them.

577
00:35:11,660 --> 00:35:15,140
Yes, some people
they say incredible things.

578
00:35:15,300 --> 00:35:19,380
There are those who say:
"I love black girls."

579
00:35:19,540 --> 00:35:20,760
The so-called "mec � blacks".

580
00:35:20,860 --> 00:35:23,120
Of course, the term is
ridiculous, but it's the same

581
00:35:23,220 --> 00:35:27,980
absurd to say: "I only love
the reds. I only go out with reds."

582
00:35:28,140 --> 00:35:30,900
This shows how absurd it is.

583
00:35:31,060 --> 00:35:32,920
They are equally absurd.

584
00:35:33,020 --> 00:35:35,220
You really get the feeling...

585
00:35:35,380 --> 00:35:39,060
to represent something for them.
And often...

586
00:35:40,220 --> 00:35:44,100
In my case, they were often
men to love Africa.

587
00:35:44,260 --> 00:35:47,180
"I lived on the Coast
of Ivory for a while."

588
00:35:47,340 --> 00:35:49,340
I do not.

589
00:35:50,740 --> 00:35:54,020
All the white people who
I attended

590
00:35:54,180 --> 00:35:57,580
they always reduced me
to the same fantasy.

591
00:35:57,740 --> 00:36:00,780
She was always fueled by the idea

592
00:36:00,940 --> 00:36:03,940
that we are wild, or a little...

593
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:08,660
animalistic or sexual.

594
00:36:08,820 --> 00:36:10,800
I was 20 years old.

595
00:36:10,900 --> 00:36:15,780
It was my first serious relationship.

596
00:36:16,460 --> 00:36:21,260
It's true, there was this whole story...

597
00:36:21,420 --> 00:36:23,740
of admiration,

598
00:36:24,500 --> 00:36:27,580
he was fascinated, but...

599
00:36:29,620 --> 00:36:33,340
he was making really racist comments

600
00:36:34,260 --> 00:36:36,340
on blacks.

601
00:36:36,500 --> 00:36:38,740
He asked a lot of questions...

602
00:36:38,900 --> 00:36:41,700
I mean, really mind-blowing.

603
00:36:43,220 --> 00:36:46,820
How about the size
of black men's penis,

604
00:36:47,500 --> 00:36:52,100
about the way we make love...

605
00:36:52,260 --> 00:36:55,140
But the biggest problem

606
00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:57,620
That's what I understood

607
00:36:58,100 --> 00:37:01,220
that he wasn't dating Audrey.

608
00:37:01,380 --> 00:37:04,060
He was dating
a black woman

609
00:37:04,220 --> 00:37:09,060
which it represented
lots of fantasies.

610
00:37:11,700 --> 00:37:15,100
For my first
boy I represented

611
00:37:15,260 --> 00:37:18,180
even a taboo,
a social taboo

612
00:37:18,340 --> 00:37:20,660
because he was a guy...

613
00:37:20,820 --> 00:37:24,020
it was from the eastern suburbs,

614
00:37:26,100 --> 00:37:28,580
from a wealthy family...

615
00:37:34,180 --> 00:37:36,660
He grew up in that environment

616
00:37:38,260 --> 00:37:41,740
and he had never met black people.

617
00:37:42,140 --> 00:37:46,340
It could also have been...

618
00:37:47,940 --> 00:37:49,980
a sort of transgression.

619
00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:53,380
At some point, you are
some kind of experiment.

620
00:37:53,540 --> 00:37:55,920
What I mean
It's that, for some...

621
00:37:56,020 --> 00:37:58,720
for some whites, e
there is also for other cultures

622
00:37:58,820 --> 00:38:03,580
a whole mystery surrounding
black women you need to try...

623
00:38:06,780 --> 00:38:08,860
regarding sexuality.

624
00:38:09,020 --> 00:38:10,760
There are so many places
communities that we have become

625
00:38:10,860 --> 00:38:15,180
a sort of enigma.
Something to try...

626
00:38:18,620 --> 00:38:21,980
And often, when
I dated white people,

627
00:38:22,380 --> 00:38:24,980
I was wondering: is it for
what is this with me?

628
00:38:25,140 --> 00:38:29,020
I have to adapt
to your idea of me?

629
00:38:29,580 --> 00:38:33,700
It's dangerous because
you can't enjoy it

630
00:38:33,860 --> 00:38:36,268
the relationship without
think about all this.

631
00:38:36,740 --> 00:38:39,820
It harms your development
personal as a woman

632
00:38:40,860 --> 00:38:42,980
and your sexual development.

633
00:38:44,220 --> 00:38:46,420
I dated white guys.

634
00:38:46,580 --> 00:38:50,900
But they weren't dating one person...

635
00:38:51,220 --> 00:38:52,840
They were dating a black girl.

636
00:38:52,940 --> 00:38:57,180
I can say, “I dated a
guy who liked to surf."

637
00:38:57,340 --> 00:38:58,760
They were dating a black girl.

638
00:38:58,860 --> 00:39:01,500
That means I could be

639
00:39:01,660 --> 00:39:03,480
a singer, an illustrator,

640
00:39:03,580 --> 00:39:07,780
or a student...
but to them I was a black girl.

641
00:39:07,940 --> 00:39:11,140
They came out with something...

642
00:39:11,300 --> 00:39:16,220
They could say, "I ate chocolate
and I dated a black girl."

643
00:39:16,380 --> 00:39:19,100
It's the same: I was a thing.

644
00:39:19,820 --> 00:39:21,040
You are an experiment.

645
00:39:21,140 --> 00:39:22,840
An experiment, exactly.

646
00:39:22,940 --> 00:39:24,360
I've already eaten a snake.

647
00:39:24,460 --> 00:39:26,460
I dated a black girl.

648
00:39:30,060 --> 00:39:34,340
LOOK AT THINGS DIFFERENTLY

649
00:39:46,740 --> 00:39:48,740
- Are you going out?
- No.

650
00:40:04,820 --> 00:40:06,820
I speak

651
00:40:07,500 --> 00:40:09,500
for some ugly ones,

652
00:40:09,900 --> 00:40:11,900
for the ugly, the old,

653
00:40:12,820 --> 00:40:14,820
the truck drivers, the frigid ones,

654
00:40:15,460 --> 00:40:17,460
the badly fucked, the unfuckable.

655
00:40:18,540 --> 00:40:21,460
All excluded from the grand
market of happiness.

656
00:40:23,980 --> 00:40:26,700
I'll start with this
because I want to be clear:

657
00:40:28,060 --> 00:40:30,060
I don't apologize for anything.

658
00:40:30,860 --> 00:40:32,860
I'm not here to complain.

659
00:40:35,340 --> 00:40:37,916
I wouldn't trade mine
place with no one else.

660
00:40:38,460 --> 00:40:42,540
I went out with a boy
young, mixed race.

661
00:40:43,060 --> 00:40:45,580
He, in fact...

662
00:40:45,740 --> 00:40:48,860
he had this fantasy
all-encompassing on black women.

663
00:40:49,020 --> 00:40:52,260
People project
always things about you,

664
00:40:52,820 --> 00:40:54,560
that you have no idea about.

665
00:40:54,660 --> 00:40:58,260
For him, I matched his
ideal of an African woman.

666
00:40:59,260 --> 00:41:01,040
In other words, physically,

667
00:41:01,140 --> 00:41:05,420
I was not like a woman
white, with a standard body,

668
00:41:05,820 --> 00:41:07,720
since I have curves,

669
00:41:07,820 --> 00:41:09,860
I also had braids.

670
00:41:10,020 --> 00:41:14,380
So, I had an identity...
Afrocentric.

671
00:41:17,220 --> 00:41:20,900
Furthermore, at the time,
I was studying anthropology...

672
00:41:21,060 --> 00:41:23,540
So, I was aware of all this.

673
00:41:23,700 --> 00:41:26,500
I became the perfect partner.

674
00:41:26,940 --> 00:41:31,180
There was this
search for authenticity

675
00:41:31,340 --> 00:41:33,540
African to whom I corresponded.

676
00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:36,300
He projected a fantasy onto me.

677
00:41:36,460 --> 00:41:40,620
A fantasy perhaps linked to
his condition as a half-breed.

678
00:41:40,780 --> 00:41:42,040
Yes, completely.

679
00:41:42,140 --> 00:41:46,100
You become a projection
of the ideal African woman.

680
00:41:46,260 --> 00:41:48,420
He too was looking for his identity.

681
00:41:48,580 --> 00:41:51,660
At no time
never meet your reality.

682
00:41:53,860 --> 00:41:56,460
They project fantasies onto you

683
00:41:56,620 --> 00:41:59,140
but in reality they never see...

684
00:42:00,020 --> 00:42:01,600
they never see you.

685
00:42:01,700 --> 00:42:05,960
In the pan-African world to which I belong
there is the image of the "good black woman".

686
00:42:06,060 --> 00:42:08,660
The good black woman is polite,

687
00:42:08,820 --> 00:42:12,260
well cared for, maternal...
this is the good black woman.

688
00:42:13,980 --> 00:42:17,460
This is the model that
pan-Africans respect.

689
00:42:17,620 --> 00:42:21,020
She is the descendant of the African queens.

690
00:42:21,180 --> 00:42:23,080
A polite woman...

691
00:42:23,180 --> 00:42:26,060
The other types: the
"niafou", le "fatou"...

692
00:42:26,220 --> 00:42:29,900
these are terms that yes
they hear in the pan-African world

693
00:42:30,060 --> 00:42:32,340
and within the African community.

694
00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:34,500
Women speaking loudly,

695
00:42:35,020 --> 00:42:37,660
they are irritating, they have a strong odor...

696
00:42:37,820 --> 00:42:39,820
they are not respectable.

697
00:42:41,260 --> 00:42:45,060
A black woman can't
never be what he wants.

698
00:42:45,220 --> 00:42:47,684
Even inside the
his own circle,

699
00:42:48,180 --> 00:42:50,420
must comply with regulations.

700
00:42:50,580 --> 00:42:53,980
And she is denigrated
even inside

701
00:42:54,140 --> 00:42:58,820
these circles, which
they should value them.

702
00:42:58,980 --> 00:43:03,420
This is what he did to me
interested in Afrofeminism.

703
00:43:03,580 --> 00:43:05,560
Those old ideas bothered me.

704
00:43:05,660 --> 00:43:07,660
They excluded

705
00:43:08,260 --> 00:43:12,460
a certain number of women
black and also a part of me.

706
00:43:16,180 --> 00:43:20,460
Black men are often
complicated because...

707
00:43:20,620 --> 00:43:22,620
they grew up like us.

708
00:43:22,740 --> 00:43:26,900
They grew up in a universe

709
00:43:27,060 --> 00:43:29,060
racist, full of racism.

710
00:43:29,380 --> 00:43:32,940
They reacted like us:
they have internalized things

711
00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:37,020
which they then project onto us.

712
00:43:37,180 --> 00:43:39,500
They will call us "niafou".

713
00:43:39,660 --> 00:43:44,140
They are the men who will say:
"I don't like women

714
00:43:44,300 --> 00:43:49,140
with dark skin because
light skin is more beautiful.

715
00:43:49,300 --> 00:43:53,900
The fine features of the face
they are more beautiful..."

716
00:43:55,420 --> 00:43:58,060
They even declare stereotypes,

717
00:43:58,220 --> 00:44:02,940
like, “Dark-skinned girls
they are like this, they behave like this..."

718
00:44:03,100 --> 00:44:08,940
They associate a certain type of
behavior to a skin type.

719
00:44:10,460 --> 00:44:12,780
They are full of clichés.

720
00:44:12,940 --> 00:44:16,340
The clichés they have
simply internalized.

721
00:44:17,220 --> 00:44:19,160
When I was older
young, men

722
00:44:19,260 --> 00:44:21,740
they didn't come out in color
with black women.

723
00:44:21,900 --> 00:44:26,060
They went out with girls
white, blonde...

724
00:44:26,220 --> 00:44:29,340
They never touched
their black sisters.

725
00:44:29,620 --> 00:44:31,620
For them they were untouchable.

726
00:44:31,980 --> 00:44:37,660
They had no desire for them...

727
00:44:38,380 --> 00:44:41,140
It's quite strange because...

728
00:44:41,500 --> 00:44:44,260
to black men
that I often

729
00:44:44,420 --> 00:44:46,160
they are interested, they are not liked
women of color.

730
00:44:46,260 --> 00:44:48,260
So, I'm often stuck.

731
00:44:52,100 --> 00:44:54,100
It's a little complicated.

732
00:44:54,980 --> 00:44:58,020
It's a thing about
we've already talked...

733
00:44:58,180 --> 00:45:00,500
sometimes, the blacks you like...

734
00:45:00,740 --> 00:45:03,060
they are with white women.

735
00:45:03,540 --> 00:45:05,040
I always wanted to say:

736
00:45:05,140 --> 00:45:10,380
"If so, bring me a man
of color who is like me...

737
00:45:11,980 --> 00:45:14,300
with the same tastes,

738
00:45:15,580 --> 00:45:16,840
the same education".

739
00:45:16,940 --> 00:45:20,580
Most of the time, these
men date white women.

740
00:45:21,900 --> 00:45:24,100
Therefore, it is impossible to meet them.

741
00:45:25,740 --> 00:45:30,380
Yet, when you go out
with a black guy...

742
00:45:31,260 --> 00:45:33,000
you have the impression...

743
00:45:33,100 --> 00:45:36,980
People say, “You're staying
in your ethnic community".

744
00:45:37,500 --> 00:45:40,660
That means dating
a white man is legitimate.

745
00:45:40,820 --> 00:45:42,900
But if I date a black man, it's sectarian.

746
00:45:43,060 --> 00:45:44,960
It's very strange.

747
00:45:45,060 --> 00:45:47,980
When I was young,
I wanted a white boy.

748
00:45:48,820 --> 00:45:53,180
Then I thought about it.

749
00:45:53,340 --> 00:45:56,340
Because I always wanted to
a white man?

750
00:45:56,740 --> 00:46:00,060
It was linked to prestige...

751
00:46:00,460 --> 00:46:03,500
Which is crazy if you think about it!

752
00:46:03,660 --> 00:46:05,560
Because this means that

753
00:46:05,660 --> 00:46:09,100
when I was older
young, go out with

754
00:46:09,260 --> 00:46:11,892
a boy of
color represented one thing...

755
00:46:13,380 --> 00:46:15,956
It was like it was
below standards.

756
00:46:18,380 --> 00:46:22,380
A white man was...
a social achievement.

757
00:46:22,540 --> 00:46:23,760
That's right.

758
00:46:23,860 --> 00:46:25,760
And beauty too.

759
00:46:25,860 --> 00:46:29,220
Again, if women
white are the standard

760
00:46:29,380 --> 00:46:32,160
of beauty, white men
they were more beautiful.

761
00:46:32,260 --> 00:46:35,500
They had thin lips,
a thin nose...

762
00:46:35,660 --> 00:46:40,140
You see that representation
of beauty everywhere

763
00:46:40,300 --> 00:46:42,900
and you would like yours
partner were like this.

764
00:46:43,060 --> 00:46:45,620
And the whites were the most beautiful.

765
00:46:45,900 --> 00:46:47,900
After that, when you...

766
00:46:48,500 --> 00:46:53,140
Actually, I was dating then
black men and that's it.

767
00:46:53,300 --> 00:46:56,580
But you internalize all this.

768
00:46:57,620 --> 00:47:00,980
All these systems
of dominion and beauty.

769
00:47:01,140 --> 00:47:04,860
Your sexuality can

770
00:47:05,020 --> 00:47:06,600
be attacked or influenced.

771
00:47:06,700 --> 00:47:09,220
When I was a little girl,
obviously...

772
00:47:09,500 --> 00:47:11,820
A black guy? Never...

773
00:47:12,660 --> 00:47:14,980
And Africans, worst of all!

774
00:47:15,140 --> 00:47:18,220
There was a little hope
for those of the Antilles...

775
00:47:18,540 --> 00:47:20,540
or the United States.

776
00:47:20,780 --> 00:47:22,640
At the start.

777
00:47:22,740 --> 00:47:25,380
But now...

778
00:47:26,700 --> 00:47:28,440
It's exactly the opposite.

779
00:47:28,540 --> 00:47:30,940
When would you say it changed?

780
00:47:31,100 --> 00:47:34,020
When I learned
how the world works.

781
00:47:34,180 --> 00:47:36,700
Everyone likes what is valued.

782
00:47:36,860 --> 00:47:39,820
We like what it is
powerful and valued.

783
00:47:39,980 --> 00:47:41,440
We are conditioned by this.

784
00:47:41,540 --> 00:47:44,780
Now, I find beauty
in dreadlocks,

785
00:47:44,940 --> 00:47:48,420
that I made myself
when I was in the United States.

786
00:47:48,580 --> 00:47:51,700
I find beauty in dark skin.

787
00:47:51,860 --> 00:47:53,980
I find beauty in...

788
00:47:54,860 --> 00:47:56,720
in what is seen as negative.

789
00:47:56,820 --> 00:48:01,340
Now I tend to look for...
No: actually to find beauty.

790
00:48:01,500 --> 00:48:05,460
Everything can be beautiful.
All of it.

791
00:48:05,620 --> 00:48:09,940
There can't be a nice group,
while all the others are ugly.

792
00:48:14,260 --> 00:48:17,580
When I was little,
I was totally conditioned.

793
00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:24,060
Fundamentally, beauty is being
blonde, white, with blue eyes...

794
00:48:28,620 --> 00:48:34,180
Of course, I understand that everyone
we have our own personal tastes.

795
00:48:34,580 --> 00:48:37,220
But I have the impression that when...

796
00:48:39,340 --> 00:48:42,860
It will always seem to me that,
if you are a man,

797
00:48:43,740 --> 00:48:45,740
black,

798
00:48:45,860 --> 00:48:47,240
heterosexual, and yours
fantasy is still one

799
00:48:47,340 --> 00:48:54,100
blonde and white woman
thin with blue eyes,

800
00:48:55,380 --> 00:48:58,300
you will always find yourself a little limited.

801
00:48:58,460 --> 00:49:00,940
Yet, you can be

802
00:49:02,260 --> 00:49:04,500
attracted to that type of body.

803
00:49:04,660 --> 00:49:08,240
But, for me, bodies like that
they are overloaded with meaning.

804
00:49:08,340 --> 00:49:12,260
Like black skin, bodies
blacks have meaning.

805
00:49:12,420 --> 00:49:14,420
Sometimes I think...

806
00:49:14,900 --> 00:49:16,640
which is a bit of a shame.

807
00:49:16,740 --> 00:49:20,820
I'm not saying we shouldn't

808
00:49:20,980 --> 00:49:22,840
mix it up, but it
I still find it difficult...

809
00:49:22,940 --> 00:49:27,780
it still hurts when the
people don't see the beauty of...

810
00:49:27,940 --> 00:49:31,820
When people say,
when it comes to aesthetics:

811
00:49:31,980 --> 00:49:35,540
"She's not beautiful." The fact is that
she can never be beautiful.

812
00:49:35,700 --> 00:49:39,460
She can't be beautiful,
given the world we live in.

813
00:49:39,620 --> 00:49:41,780
It's normal not to find her beautiful.

814
00:49:42,100 --> 00:49:44,460
It's normal. But it's unacceptable.

815
00:49:44,620 --> 00:49:47,060
So, now I tend to…

816
00:49:47,220 --> 00:49:50,140
I try to see things
differently.

817
00:49:54,340 --> 00:49:58,380
I AM FROM LIMOGES

818
00:50:00,740 --> 00:50:02,600
"Where are you from?"

819
00:50:02,700 --> 00:50:04,280
I say I'm from Paris.

820
00:50:04,380 --> 00:50:07,780
The guy looks at me, della
series: "I'm not stupid".

821
00:50:08,700 --> 00:50:10,120
"Where are you from?"

822
00:50:10,220 --> 00:50:11,200
"From Paris!"

823
00:50:11,300 --> 00:50:12,600
"And your parents?"

824
00:50:12,700 --> 00:50:14,280
"Oh! My parents!"

825
00:50:14,380 --> 00:50:16,540
My parents,
this is one thing,

826
00:50:16,700 --> 00:50:20,780
but I'm from here.
Maybe you don't want to hear it?

827
00:50:21,100 --> 00:50:22,960
I have to admit it.

828
00:50:23,060 --> 00:50:25,500
Every time I said
"I am from Gaillac",

829
00:50:25,660 --> 00:50:28,420
they replied: "From
Where are you really from?"

830
00:50:28,580 --> 00:50:30,360
"I'm from here. I'm French."

831
00:50:30,460 --> 00:50:31,840
“I mean, where are you really from?”

832
00:50:31,940 --> 00:50:34,140
This is what bothers me.

833
00:50:34,540 --> 00:50:36,780
They ask because you're black.

834
00:50:36,940 --> 00:50:41,660
Once again, it is expected
that justifies my identity.

835
00:50:41,820 --> 00:50:44,500
Naively, I did this for a long time.

836
00:50:44,660 --> 00:50:46,820
Sometimes I try to use humor.

837
00:50:46,980 --> 00:50:52,020
At a certain point, I decided to quit
to get offended by every little thing.

838
00:50:52,180 --> 00:50:54,160
But in reality it is not a small thing.

839
00:50:54,260 --> 00:50:58,100
Not until two years ago
I had never noticed it

840
00:50:58,260 --> 00:51:00,980
because I'm really coming
somewhere else.

841
00:51:01,140 --> 00:51:04,260
I always thought:
"Okay, okay..."

842
00:51:04,420 --> 00:51:07,060
I know I have an accent,
so why not?

843
00:51:07,220 --> 00:51:11,660
But, over time, after speaking
and listened to other people, � 

844
00:51:11,820 --> 00:51:16,980
unacceptable to ask this question
to a third generation citizen.

845
00:51:17,140 --> 00:51:18,840
"Yes, but where are you really from?"

846
00:51:18,940 --> 00:51:22,020
After telling them:
"I'm from Limoges."

847
00:51:22,180 --> 00:51:24,080
"Yes, but where are you really from?"

848
00:51:24,180 --> 00:51:25,600
"Limoges!"

849
00:51:25,700 --> 00:51:27,860
So, this is a problem.

850
00:51:28,220 --> 00:51:30,220
You were born French

851
00:51:30,380 --> 00:51:32,860
and they deprive you of this thing...

852
00:51:33,020 --> 00:51:38,540
Since kindergarten, you experiment
constantly things that

853
00:51:38,700 --> 00:51:42,340
they take away your right to
be who you are.

854
00:51:45,340 --> 00:51:48,700
I always ask myself the same question:

855
00:51:48,860 --> 00:51:50,860
If I really were always...

856
00:51:51,540 --> 00:51:53,700
lived here from the beginning,

857
00:51:53,860 --> 00:51:56,980
Would I still give this talk?

858
00:51:57,140 --> 00:51:59,760
I doubt it.
I think I'd be a lot angrier.

859
00:51:59,860 --> 00:52:03,020
I would have much more resentment inside me...

860
00:52:04,540 --> 00:52:07,300
Since I'm not
born here, I don't care.

861
00:52:07,460 --> 00:52:09,460
I was born in Senegal.

862
00:52:09,580 --> 00:52:11,980
When asked about my origins I answer:

863
00:52:12,140 --> 00:52:14,220
"I am French-Senegalese."

864
00:52:14,380 --> 00:52:17,340
I also have Senegalese citizenship.

865
00:52:17,500 --> 00:52:20,960
It never really shocked me,
but more and more people want it

866
00:52:21,060 --> 00:52:24,460
know. When they see one
person of color, ask:

867
00:52:25,460 --> 00:52:28,660
"Where are you from?
You can't be from here."

868
00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:32,508
At first I thought it was curiosity,
people want to know.

869
00:52:32,980 --> 00:52:36,480
But I'm super-curious, and yet
I rarely ask people.

870
00:52:36,580 --> 00:52:39,980
I noticed it...
yet I'm very curious.

871
00:52:40,140 --> 00:52:43,100
I don't even think so
to know where you come from.

872
00:52:45,180 --> 00:52:48,820
I rarely ask
where people come from.

873
00:52:48,980 --> 00:52:51,700
I guess they'll tell me,
if they want it.

874
00:52:51,860 --> 00:52:54,100
If you're not white, you're a foreigner.

875
00:52:54,260 --> 00:52:55,400
It's strange, because it's possible

876
00:52:55,500 --> 00:52:58,180
being white and not French.

877
00:52:58,340 --> 00:53:02,260
I often laugh and say, “I am
the most French person here.

878
00:53:03,300 --> 00:53:06,980
If we deported all those
without French grandparents,

879
00:53:07,140 --> 00:53:09,140
you would leave and I would stay."

880
00:53:10,060 --> 00:53:14,060
It's true, and yet the people
tends to forget it.

881
00:53:18,180 --> 00:53:22,020
NO ONE HAS EVER WAITED FOR US

882
00:53:24,860 --> 00:53:31,020
Your parents knew the
French school system?

883
00:53:31,180 --> 00:53:33,180
No, not at all. At all.

884
00:53:35,620 --> 00:53:37,740
For them the school...

885
00:53:38,460 --> 00:53:42,540
They had absolute faith in the
French school system.

886
00:53:42,700 --> 00:53:46,100
They thought: "I'll send my people
children in a French school.

887
00:53:46,620 --> 00:53:51,420
So they will find it automatically
good job..."

888
00:53:51,580 --> 00:53:54,980
The only path that
they knew it was the university.

889
00:53:55,140 --> 00:53:58,420
And why? Because of
L�opold S�dar Senghor.

890
00:53:58,580 --> 00:54:01,700
They thought, “Senghor
He went to university,

891
00:54:01,860 --> 00:54:04,680
so that must be it
the path to success."

892
00:54:04,780 --> 00:54:06,000
There was nothing but this.

893
00:54:06,100 --> 00:54:09,620
I went to a school
media "ZEP", but I didn't know that.

894
00:54:10,940 --> 00:54:13,860
I found out when
I got to high school.

895
00:54:14,300 --> 00:54:17,340
In second grade I had
some difficulties.

896
00:54:17,500 --> 00:54:20,140
So I saw one
guidance counselor

897
00:54:20,300 --> 00:54:23,540
and I asked her why I was
making a lot of effort.

898
00:54:23,700 --> 00:54:26,200
He replied: "It's normal,
comes from a ZEP school."

899
00:54:26,300 --> 00:54:27,480
"What is it?"

900
00:54:27,580 --> 00:54:30,100
"A priority education area".

901
00:54:30,340 --> 00:54:31,520
"Okay, then?"

902
00:54:31,620 --> 00:54:33,360
He told me: "Basically,

903
00:54:33,460 --> 00:54:38,540
when you got a 7, the
real rating was a 5, or 5 and a half."

904
00:54:39,220 --> 00:54:42,260
So, that was the
first slap in the face.

905
00:54:42,420 --> 00:54:44,760
Then I went to
find my parents.

906
00:54:44,860 --> 00:54:49,300
“Apparently, I didn’t date
a good school."

907
00:54:49,460 --> 00:54:53,268
They were shocked and they
said, "What? Nobody told us!

908
00:54:53,420 --> 00:54:55,040
"We made a mistake."

909
00:54:55,140 --> 00:54:57,260
They were bad.

910
00:54:57,740 --> 00:55:00,900
For them every school

911
00:55:01,340 --> 00:55:03,340
it had the same value.

912
00:55:03,580 --> 00:55:06,540
They didn't know anything about...

913
00:55:06,700 --> 00:55:11,740
business schools or
preparatory courses for university.

914
00:55:11,900 --> 00:55:16,940
I learned all this
when I was in high school.

915
00:55:17,180 --> 00:55:21,340
I asked good students
which university they had chosen.

916
00:55:21,500 --> 00:55:24,320
They said: "University?
We do the preparatory courses."

917
00:55:24,420 --> 00:55:26,160
I said, "What are they?"

918
00:55:26,260 --> 00:55:31,220
"The preparatory courses, to access
to the most prestigious universities".

919
00:55:31,380 --> 00:55:35,100
I had never heard of it before.

920
00:55:35,460 --> 00:55:39,340
I think every parent wants
that their children are successful.

921
00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:40,840
Mine, first.

922
00:55:40,940 --> 00:55:44,340
I really believe, if
had they known...

923
00:55:44,700 --> 00:55:49,020
of these prestigious schools, or

924
00:55:49,180 --> 00:55:51,280
of preparatory courses,
they would have signed me up.

925
00:55:51,380 --> 00:55:56,100
When you have parents who have
followed this guy

926
00:55:56,260 --> 00:55:58,980
of training or a
environment that encourages you

927
00:55:59,140 --> 00:56:03,380
saying, "This is an option.
If you want to go further, do this..."

928
00:56:03,540 --> 00:56:05,780
But what if you have no idea?

929
00:56:06,900 --> 00:56:08,520
I hated my studies.

930
00:56:08,620 --> 00:56:11,660
I was so frustrated
from the school system.

931
00:56:11,820 --> 00:56:13,820
I have never felt fulfilled.

932
00:56:13,940 --> 00:56:15,680
I had missed a year

933
00:56:15,780 --> 00:56:17,980
but, at the end of middle school,

934
00:56:18,140 --> 00:56:22,820
I was reoriented
towards a vocational school

935
00:56:22,980 --> 00:56:26,380
of accounting, which does not
I was fine with it at all.

936
00:56:26,540 --> 00:56:29,540
But it was considered more suitable

937
00:56:30,260 --> 00:56:32,940
from my teachers.

938
00:56:33,100 --> 00:56:36,200
So when at the age of 14
years I was told I would be

939
00:56:36,300 --> 00:56:38,360
became secretary, my mother
he found it normal and told me:

940
00:56:38,460 --> 00:56:42,060
"Of course. That's how you'll find it
definitely a job."

941
00:56:43,420 --> 00:56:45,780
So, it was really hard for me.

942
00:56:45,940 --> 00:56:50,580
You were sent to accounting
even if you skipped a year?

943
00:56:52,500 --> 00:56:54,560
How they justified it
the teachers?

944
00:56:54,660 --> 00:56:58,320
My teachers justified it
saying I was young and that

945
00:56:58,420 --> 00:57:03,100
I had had a difficult year.
They didn't look at past grades.

946
00:57:03,260 --> 00:57:05,300
So, a difficult year, more

947
00:57:05,460 --> 00:57:08,020
low grades in the last year of middle school

948
00:57:08,180 --> 00:57:11,400
because of experience
trauma of changing cities

949
00:57:11,500 --> 00:57:14,860
and, at that age, I was
in full puberty.

950
00:57:15,020 --> 00:57:17,596
There had been some
arguments with my parents,

951
00:57:18,220 --> 00:57:22,660
which were also violent...All of that
was not taken into consideration.

952
00:57:22,980 --> 00:57:26,420
Education, my relationship
with my teachers...

953
00:57:26,580 --> 00:57:28,580
I had no say in the matter.

954
00:57:28,820 --> 00:57:31,220
It was another world for me.

955
00:57:31,380 --> 00:57:34,660
But I met this one
high school art teacher.

956
00:57:37,380 --> 00:57:40,236
We got along really well
and she said to me, "Annie,

957
00:57:40,660 --> 00:57:42,740
you are good at arts.

958
00:57:42,900 --> 00:57:45,620
Instead of 3 hours, you should do 6

959
00:57:45,780 --> 00:57:49,620
and find a way to make you
validate the first year

960
00:57:49,780 --> 00:57:55,060
to recover the lost one and
then be able to go to university."

961
00:57:55,220 --> 00:57:57,080
No one had ever told me this before.

962
00:57:57,180 --> 00:58:00,940
I thought I was doomed
to go to a vocational school.

963
00:58:01,220 --> 00:58:04,380
And this teacher
he found another way.

964
00:58:04,700 --> 00:58:07,420
So I graduated, with honors.

965
00:58:07,580 --> 00:58:11,700
I recovered a year
to a commercial address

966
00:58:12,660 --> 00:58:15,180
as part of a professional course.

967
00:58:16,300 --> 00:58:19,220
Then I studied Fine Arts
at the university.

968
00:58:19,380 --> 00:58:22,140
There were lessons on cinema...

969
00:58:22,300 --> 00:58:24,460
I discovered everything at once:

970
00:58:24,620 --> 00:58:26,240
the dance...

971
00:58:26,340 --> 00:58:29,380
contemporary dance, cinema...

972
00:58:30,980 --> 00:58:32,980
the arts.

973
00:58:33,460 --> 00:58:35,940
It was an epiphany.

974
00:58:36,100 --> 00:58:39,140
Suddenly, I was
working on films.

975
00:58:41,260 --> 00:58:44,200
That was the point of
leaving for my job.

976
00:58:44,300 --> 00:58:46,500
Then I met
a costume designer who

977
00:58:46,660 --> 00:58:49,060
he got me under
his protective wing.

978
00:58:49,220 --> 00:58:51,080
We started working together.

979
00:58:51,180 --> 00:58:54,780
I was 22 at the time and
I'm 34 now, and I still do it.

980
00:58:55,460 --> 00:58:58,260
Sometimes it's difficult, but it's my job.

981
00:59:01,420 --> 00:59:03,200
The school...

982
00:59:03,300 --> 00:59:07,420
it can be fantastic if you're lucky.
It depends on your experience.

983
00:59:07,580 --> 00:59:09,740
If you have a teacher

984
00:59:09,900 --> 00:59:12,140
that encourages and pushes you

985
00:59:12,300 --> 00:59:15,700
and offers you a good one

986
00:59:15,860 --> 00:59:16,920
possibility, it's fantastic.

987
00:59:17,020 --> 00:59:19,820
But we know all too well that...

988
00:59:20,580 --> 00:59:22,120
For example, mine
parents did not have

989
00:59:22,220 --> 00:59:26,260
the means to help me
with homework in the evening,

990
00:59:27,260 --> 00:59:30,420
or to make me do repetitions.

991
00:59:30,580 --> 00:59:32,580
All that...

992
00:59:32,820 --> 00:59:35,340
helping children with homework in the evening...

993
00:59:35,500 --> 00:59:40,380
It's complicated for people
who have to do different jobs.

994
00:59:40,540 --> 00:59:41,880
And, lo and behold,

995
00:59:41,980 --> 00:59:47,660
those people often are
of African or Caribbean origins.

996
00:59:48,020 --> 00:59:50,940
There is also another element:

997
00:59:51,100 --> 00:59:53,340
there is school and
then there is all the work

998
00:59:54,580 --> 00:59:56,280
to learn to know.

999
00:59:56,380 --> 00:59:58,840
Learning is not
limited to school.

1000
00:59:58,940 --> 01:00:01,820
For a boy who plays tennis,

1001
01:00:01,980 --> 01:00:03,800
plays piano, guitar
and violin, practice judo,

1002
01:00:03,900 --> 01:00:09,140
his ability to
learning will be multiplied.

1003
01:00:09,460 --> 01:00:13,180
Activities outside of
school allow you to arrive

1004
01:00:13,340 --> 01:00:15,920
to school and be more
open to learning.

1005
01:00:16,020 --> 01:00:18,940
The question of specialization

1006
01:00:20,060 --> 01:00:21,800
how your parents see you

1007
01:00:21,900 --> 01:00:23,720
teachers, as you see yourself,

1008
01:00:23,820 --> 01:00:25,820
where do you finally see yourself, where

1009
01:00:25,940 --> 01:00:29,220
the teachers see you...

1010
01:00:29,380 --> 01:00:32,340
it was a real problem for me.

1011
01:00:32,660 --> 01:00:35,840
The hardest thing for me is
It was getting to my senior year

1012
01:00:35,940 --> 01:00:39,660
and having to choose
what to study after high school.

1013
01:00:39,820 --> 01:00:41,820
I wanted to take courses

1014
01:00:41,980 --> 01:00:43,800
preparators for the faculty
of economics.

1015
01:00:43,900 --> 01:00:45,720
At the time,

1016
01:00:45,820 --> 01:00:49,620
I was a good student.
Third best in my class.

1017
01:00:49,780 --> 01:00:52,620
I had prepared mine
dossier with my grades and

1018
01:00:52,780 --> 01:00:54,960
I went to meet the
orientation manager

1019
01:00:55,060 --> 01:00:58,420
in my private high school
Catholic of Paris.

1020
01:00:59,500 --> 01:01:00,680
When I arrived,
he told me that

1021
01:01:00,780 --> 01:01:03,860
I wasn't good enough
for preparatory courses.

1022
01:01:04,020 --> 01:01:06,400
He suggested training
professional.

1023
01:01:06,500 --> 01:01:09,524
I didn't agree, I wanted to do
a preparatory course.

1024
01:01:09,660 --> 01:01:13,580
He said I didn't have the grades
and that I would not be accepted.

1025
01:01:13,740 --> 01:01:15,740
I left, quite sad.

1026
01:01:15,900 --> 01:01:20,700
But I realized there was a
problem later that day:

1027
01:01:20,860 --> 01:01:23,380
one of my white friends

1028
01:01:23,540 --> 01:01:27,080
which wasn't third best
of our class, but the tenth,

1029
01:01:27,180 --> 01:01:29,740
he went to the consultant
and he came out with

1030
01:01:29,900 --> 01:01:33,660
a list of courses
to which to apply.

1031
01:01:33,820 --> 01:01:36,080
I cried and left
from a teacher who

1032
01:01:36,180 --> 01:01:40,340
he helped me fill it out
a list of courses.

1033
01:01:40,500 --> 01:01:44,580
I talked about it with my mother,
who was obviously not happy.

1034
01:01:44,740 --> 01:01:46,560
But I was accepted
to a course and time

1035
01:01:46,660 --> 01:01:49,460
I'm graduating from one
school of economics.

1036
01:01:49,620 --> 01:01:53,260
I also have a little brother
who attended the same

1037
01:01:53,420 --> 01:01:56,720
school and that he also wanted
go to a preparatory course.

1038
01:01:56,820 --> 01:02:01,220
He did like me: he brought his own
dossier to the guidance counselor.

1039
01:02:01,380 --> 01:02:03,120
Once again he said:

1040
01:02:03,220 --> 01:02:06,860
"Your grades are too low.
You will never be accepted."

1041
01:02:07,020 --> 01:02:09,876
Except he believed her
and didn't apply.

1042
01:02:11,260 --> 01:02:13,040
So, I took the
his dossier and I saw

1043
01:02:13,140 --> 01:02:17,300
the director of mine
course. I showed it to him

1044
01:02:17,460 --> 01:02:20,340
and I said, “Here are the
my brother's votes.

1045
01:02:20,500 --> 01:02:23,380
Are there still places here?”

1046
01:02:23,540 --> 01:02:27,340
My brother had coupons
votes and was accepted.

1047
01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:30,220
Later, he returned to
high school and came across

1048
01:02:30,380 --> 01:02:33,060
in his consultant
of orientation.

1049
01:02:33,220 --> 01:02:36,180
She asked him, "So,
How's college going?"

1050
01:02:36,340 --> 01:02:40,300
He looked at her and said, "No,
I'm in a preparatory course!"

1051
01:02:40,860 --> 01:02:44,460
He told me he was
she seemed pissed off.

1052
01:02:44,620 --> 01:02:48,140
There are many issues that arise
white women with children

1053
01:02:48,580 --> 01:02:51,400
in heterosexual couples
which should never be proposed.

1054
01:02:51,500 --> 01:02:53,240
They never have to wonder
how to prepare theirs

1055
01:02:53,340 --> 01:02:57,380
children to face
systemic racism,

1056
01:02:57,540 --> 01:03:01,860
to address discrimination
of their managers

1057
01:03:02,020 --> 01:03:04,880
of orientation or how
prepare them for all this.

1058
01:03:04,980 --> 01:03:09,860
To the fact that they won't exist
in any history book.

1059
01:03:10,020 --> 01:03:12,860
All these issues
the State solved them

1060
01:03:15,380 --> 01:03:18,300
for white mothers with white children.

1061
01:03:18,700 --> 01:03:20,080
They have answers.

1062
01:03:20,180 --> 01:03:22,440
When the boys are
white and come from

1063
01:03:22,540 --> 01:03:27,100
heteronormative families,
the schools are waiting for them.

1064
01:03:27,700 --> 01:03:31,740
Nobody expects our children.
Nobody ever expects us.

1065
01:03:32,420 --> 01:03:35,660
When I prepared the
my dossier to access

1066
01:03:35,820 --> 01:03:37,840
to a preparatory course,
they tried to stop me.

1067
01:03:37,940 --> 01:03:40,580
But I was lucky because...

1068
01:03:40,740 --> 01:03:45,780
I was told what grades I had
needed to study what I wanted.

1069
01:03:46,060 --> 01:03:47,920
Not everyone is so lucky.

1070
01:03:48,020 --> 01:03:51,940
Not everyone has someone
who tells them, “You can do it.”

1071
01:03:52,100 --> 01:03:56,740
When someone says:
"No, you can't get there",

1072
01:03:56,900 --> 01:04:00,180
it actually means:
“Black people will never make it.”

1073
01:04:00,340 --> 01:04:03,500
If you believe him, everything is over.

1074
01:04:06,980 --> 01:04:11,100
THERE ARE NO BLACK SWANS

1075
01:04:13,340 --> 01:04:16,100
I had an alternation
school and work...

1076
01:04:16,260 --> 01:04:19,020
in 2013-2014...

1077
01:04:19,980 --> 01:04:24,100
I went there with my hair down,
obviously after the trial period...

1078
01:04:24,260 --> 01:04:28,200
But I made myself a turban once
wrapping my hair in a scarf.

1079
01:04:28,300 --> 01:04:31,380
I was so happy,
because it was so beautiful.

1080
01:04:31,540 --> 01:04:34,940
It's one of the most beautiful hairstyles...

1081
01:04:35,100 --> 01:04:37,780
I had hoop earrings
and red lipstick.

1082
01:04:37,940 --> 01:04:39,920
Like it or not, this
It's my style.

1083
01:04:40,020 --> 01:04:42,100
I go to work and my boss says:

1084
01:04:42,260 --> 01:04:45,780
“Wow, you have a hairstyle
really ethnic!

1085
01:04:45,940 --> 01:04:49,460
You remind me of slaves
in the cotton fields."

1086
01:04:50,940 --> 01:04:52,940
I said, "Excuse me?"

1087
01:04:53,060 --> 01:04:55,540
I really hoped
that I misunderstood.

1088
01:04:55,700 --> 01:04:57,860
"But yes, don't you know?"

1089
01:04:58,020 --> 01:04:58,920
"Yes."

1090
01:04:59,020 --> 01:05:03,660
"When the slave girls were harvesting
cotton, they wore their hair like that".

1091
01:05:03,820 --> 01:05:05,820
She asked, “Are you nostalgic?”

1092
01:05:07,260 --> 01:05:08,520
This is my boss.

1093
01:05:08,620 --> 01:05:12,180
Clearly not him
It mattered whether I was offended or not.

1094
01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:14,640
I said "ok."

1095
01:05:14,740 --> 01:05:18,060
"That's all? You blacks don't
You have a sense of humor."

1096
01:05:19,420 --> 01:05:20,960
Sure...

1097
01:05:21,060 --> 01:05:24,860
I counted the days to go
at the end of my internship.

1098
01:05:25,020 --> 01:05:27,540
I couldn't graduate without it.

1099
01:05:27,700 --> 01:05:31,380
And I started studying again
after a four-year hiatus.

1100
01:05:31,540 --> 01:05:33,540
So, I kept quiet.

1101
01:05:33,780 --> 01:05:38,580
When I was young, I wanted
find work as a promoter.

1102
01:05:39,580 --> 01:05:43,460
I went to an agency
and I passed the tests.

1103
01:05:44,420 --> 01:05:46,620
The problem was my hair.

1104
01:05:48,740 --> 01:05:51,580
They said that

1105
01:05:51,740 --> 01:05:53,860
it wasn't racist,

1106
01:05:54,020 --> 01:05:58,780
but the rules applied to everyone:
we all had to have straight hair.

1107
01:05:58,940 --> 01:06:04,380
Then, he showed me the photos
of other promoters who

1108
01:06:04,540 --> 01:06:08,220
had been assumed that they had
waves or a permanent straightening.

1109
01:06:09,300 --> 01:06:10,960
They had to be smooth.

1110
01:06:11,060 --> 01:06:12,920
I worked in a call center...

1111
01:06:13,020 --> 01:06:15,160
I did a lot
of service work.

1112
01:06:15,260 --> 01:06:18,900
That secretary diploma
it wasn't entirely useless.

1113
01:06:19,060 --> 01:06:22,220
I was able to shoot
forward thanks to that.

1114
01:06:22,380 --> 01:06:24,160
I have done many jobs
for a fixed term.

1115
01:06:24,260 --> 01:06:28,780
Every time I had to demonstrate
my credentials, keep

1116
01:06:28,940 --> 01:06:31,796
a low profile and,
therefore, have straight hair.

1117
01:06:32,820 --> 01:06:37,620
I was dating
a young man

1118
01:06:37,780 --> 01:06:39,680
of color with gods
incredible dreadlocks.

1119
01:06:39,780 --> 01:06:42,420
It was rejected for so many

1120
01:06:42,580 --> 01:06:44,580
jobs that got rid of it,

1121
01:06:47,060 --> 01:06:50,020
just to be legitimized
for a simple job.

1122
01:06:50,180 --> 01:06:51,960
For some work
stupid how to answer

1123
01:06:52,060 --> 01:06:55,860
to a telephone in
a call center...

1124
01:06:56,140 --> 01:06:58,620
You always wear a disguise.

1125
01:06:58,780 --> 01:07:01,260
You always have to adapt
to a standard.

1126
01:07:03,060 --> 01:07:05,140
I am very happy, because...

1127
01:07:05,420 --> 01:07:10,500
I always wanted to be an actress
since I was little.

1128
01:07:11,100 --> 01:07:14,124
I have a theater diploma
and I studied at the conservatory

1129
01:07:14,260 --> 01:07:16,620
and now I live from this work.

1130
01:07:16,780 --> 01:07:19,140
But, actually, how?

1131
01:07:19,700 --> 01:07:20,560
As?

1132
01:07:20,660 --> 01:07:25,220
In the movies, you don't see them
never black women who

1133
01:07:25,380 --> 01:07:27,920
they are managers, entrepreneurs.
Yet they exist.

1134
01:07:28,020 --> 01:07:32,100
Black women that are
researchers, black women who...

1135
01:07:33,820 --> 01:07:35,760
In my opinion...

1136
01:07:35,860 --> 01:07:38,740
after a while it's exhausting.

1137
01:07:39,900 --> 01:07:44,540
I often play authoritarian women
who pick on young people.

1138
01:07:49,220 --> 01:07:52,940
With everything that comes with it.

1139
01:07:53,860 --> 01:07:57,420
Or characters who are a little

1140
01:07:57,580 --> 01:08:00,500
funny, a little
moving. Like...

1141
01:08:03,980 --> 01:08:08,580
There may be a dimension
poetic, dramatic, beautiful.

1142
01:08:08,740 --> 01:08:13,140
But, when you always interpret
the same type of character,

1143
01:08:13,540 --> 01:08:16,140
you start asking questions.

1144
01:08:16,300 --> 01:08:19,740
I tell myself I'm in
responsible party, but...

1145
01:08:19,900 --> 01:08:23,820
Today I feel I don't have
the responsibility of

1146
01:08:23,980 --> 01:08:26,280
reject roles that
they are offered to me.

1147
01:08:26,380 --> 01:08:28,700
Why, or I change jobs,

1148
01:08:29,740 --> 01:08:31,740
or I direct my own films,

1149
01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:35,900
which requires many
financing and money, etc.

1150
01:08:37,140 --> 01:08:38,520
Or I change jobs.

1151
01:08:38,620 --> 01:08:40,940
I wanted to dance at the Op�ra.

1152
01:08:41,420 --> 01:08:44,420
And then it happened
an interesting thing:

1153
01:08:44,580 --> 01:08:46,400
It was the first
time my father told me

1154
01:08:46,500 --> 01:08:50,580
he explained that it was one
which I couldn't do.

1155
01:08:50,740 --> 01:08:52,360
It's the only time my father

1156
01:08:52,460 --> 01:08:55,340
he told me, “You can't do that.”

1157
01:08:55,500 --> 01:08:58,220
And his argument was:

1158
01:08:59,220 --> 01:09:03,180
"There are no black swans.
They don't exist."

1159
01:09:03,580 --> 01:09:07,300
So, the dreams of a little girl
6-year-olds were wiped out.

1160
01:09:07,460 --> 01:09:09,120
Then I wanted to be a veterinarian.

1161
01:09:09,220 --> 01:09:11,760
Then the President of the Court
Supreme of the United States.

1162
01:09:11,860 --> 01:09:15,740
So, it was a progression
rather strange.

1163
01:09:16,940 --> 01:09:20,300
But I was interested
to foreign languages.

1164
01:09:20,460 --> 01:09:22,860
I learned English in Ireland.

1165
01:09:23,020 --> 01:09:24,640
I also liked German.

1166
01:09:24,740 --> 01:09:27,260
I loved Latin and languages

1167
01:09:27,420 --> 01:09:29,900
death, but I immediately understood...

1168
01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:33,780
there wasn't much future with those.

1169
01:09:33,940 --> 01:09:35,940
But, during the preparatory courses,

1170
01:09:36,340 --> 01:09:40,820
my English teacher talked to me
of interpreting work at conferences.

1171
01:09:41,020 --> 01:09:43,940
The interpreter is a job

1172
01:09:44,100 --> 01:09:46,260
very good,
especially at the UN,

1173
01:09:46,420 --> 01:09:48,780
where there is a lot of diversity.

1174
01:09:49,540 --> 01:09:53,420
It's also a very insular world,
which I would call a kind of sect,

1175
01:09:53,740 --> 01:09:55,480
where everyone knows everyone.

1176
01:09:55,580 --> 01:09:59,380
It's a small world.
There aren't many

1177
01:09:59,540 --> 01:10:02,860
interpreters, above all
black performers...

1178
01:10:03,260 --> 01:10:05,260
In Paris there are only two of us.

1179
01:10:05,540 --> 01:10:08,460
So, in the pharmaceutical industry,

1180
01:10:09,260 --> 01:10:12,060
there are many women
black engineers?

1181
01:10:12,540 --> 01:10:14,940
I've always been the only one.

1182
01:10:15,100 --> 01:10:17,100
At the engineering faculty,

1183
01:10:17,340 --> 01:10:20,140
I only met two
black women in three years.

1184
01:10:20,300 --> 01:10:22,300
There aren't many of us.

1185
01:10:22,420 --> 01:10:27,140
The field of engineering
It's very masculine.

1186
01:10:27,820 --> 01:10:31,940
In biology you find some
girl, but few in engineering.

1187
01:10:32,100 --> 01:10:34,900
So, see a woman
black in an afro style

1188
01:10:35,060 --> 01:10:37,920
who shows up with shoes
trainers and says "Yol"

1189
01:10:38,020 --> 01:10:40,020
It's pretty rare.

1190
01:10:40,300 --> 01:10:42,840
Let's just say I am
felt a little different.

1191
01:10:42,940 --> 01:10:47,940
When I started working, I
heard very unpleasant comments.

1192
01:10:48,100 --> 01:10:52,580
For example, once a colleague has
sang "Asimbonanga" in our office.

1193
01:10:54,020 --> 01:10:56,180
I had to frame things.

1194
01:10:56,340 --> 01:10:59,220
But it's not just being black,

1195
01:10:59,380 --> 01:11:01,956
It has more to do with mine
social background.

1196
01:11:02,220 --> 01:11:04,940
People from the suburbs

1197
01:11:05,100 --> 01:11:09,500
who become managers, coordinators,
organizers, there are very few.

1198
01:11:10,020 --> 01:11:11,880
You have to impose yourself.

1199
01:11:11,980 --> 01:11:15,788
Only this, you have to impose yourself on
an industry full of white men.

1200
01:11:19,300 --> 01:11:23,380
TEN MILLION, THIS IS BELGIUM

1201
01:11:27,180 --> 01:11:29,820
Pain invaded my soul,

1202
01:11:29,980 --> 01:11:31,980
my soul...

1203
01:11:35,220 --> 01:11:37,220
I continue.

1204
01:11:39,940 --> 01:11:41,800
Lost...

1205
01:11:41,900 --> 01:11:43,900
Lost.

1206
01:11:44,020 --> 01:11:47,860
We decided to work on it
Racine, especially for the "roots".

1207
01:11:50,420 --> 01:11:54,060
Concentrate on breathing,
articulation and punctuation.

1208
01:11:54,220 --> 01:11:57,780
Of course, if they happen
things, don't avoid them.

1209
01:11:58,140 --> 01:12:00,700
To "freeze and burn",
you stop.

1210
01:12:00,860 --> 01:12:05,100
I start the music, and
when it ends, you start again. Okay?

1211
01:12:05,780 --> 01:12:09,100
Stay focused, close
your eyes and I'll guide you.

1212
01:12:09,300 --> 01:12:13,500
I would like to see that
effect it has with your eyes closed.

1213
01:12:13,660 --> 01:12:15,700
Keep letting go

1214
01:12:16,500 --> 01:12:18,500
and say your lines.

1215
01:12:18,820 --> 01:12:21,260
All my pain comes from further away,

1216
01:12:22,140 --> 01:12:24,420
D'Imen under the laws

1217
01:12:24,740 --> 01:12:27,620
I was close to
laws of the Aegean, in happy peace.

1218
01:12:27,780 --> 01:12:31,420
I hoped to live out my days.

1219
01:12:31,580 --> 01:12:34,100
I came to Athens and
the enemy appeared to me

1220
01:12:34,260 --> 01:12:37,380
See it, and blush
and turning pale was a point...

1221
01:12:38,180 --> 01:12:41,420
Pain invaded mine
lost soul.

1222
01:12:43,620 --> 01:12:45,620
My eyes darkened.

1223
01:12:46,980 --> 01:12:48,980
And I couldn't say a word.

1224
01:12:49,740 --> 01:12:53,500
I felt freezing, burning
and bones and blood...

1225
01:12:55,580 --> 01:12:58,980
I knew the fearful flame
of the terrible diva Venus,

1226
01:12:59,660 --> 01:13:02,940
Of a blood whose
desires merciless torment

1227
01:13:05,100 --> 01:13:08,300
With assiduous vows I attempted to
turn his torments away from me.

1228
01:13:09,300 --> 01:13:12,900
I was careful to build them
and adorn a temple for her,

1229
01:13:19,060 --> 01:13:20,640
It's still there

1230
01:13:20,740 --> 01:13:23,380
the presence of depression

1231
01:13:24,020 --> 01:13:25,560
in my family.

1232
01:13:25,660 --> 01:13:29,780
At certain times I am
felt completely lost...

1233
01:13:29,940 --> 01:13:32,540
completely lost between...

1234
01:13:33,180 --> 01:13:37,220
for example, what my
parents hoped for me

1235
01:13:38,580 --> 01:13:40,580
like their daughter,

1236
01:13:42,460 --> 01:13:45,060
and my expectations regarding

1237
01:13:45,220 --> 01:13:49,660
to being French here

1238
01:13:49,820 --> 01:13:51,820
with a foreign origin.

1239
01:13:51,940 --> 01:13:57,940
And I often felt
as if trapped between

1240
01:13:58,100 --> 01:14:00,320
the anvil and the hammer,
because I wanted to emancipate myself,

1241
01:14:00,420 --> 01:14:03,420
but what does it mean here
emancipate yourself?

1242
01:14:03,580 --> 01:14:08,860
It means denying one's own
family or your origins?

1243
01:14:09,020 --> 01:14:10,720
To do what?

1244
01:14:10,820 --> 01:14:15,300
What's the point if, in the end, not
Will you be accepted anywhere?

1245
01:14:15,460 --> 01:14:18,460
This is a reality that places us,

1246
01:14:18,620 --> 01:14:21,640
we, children of the diaspora,
in a sort of schizophrenia,

1247
01:14:21,740 --> 01:14:25,540
why we have to conform to
two completely different rules:

1248
01:14:26,100 --> 01:14:30,460
that of the country of origin of the
our parents and that of France.

1249
01:14:30,620 --> 01:14:32,480
Regarding depression:

1250
01:14:32,580 --> 01:14:34,820
Was it seen as a white thing?

1251
01:14:34,980 --> 01:14:36,280
Oh, yes.

1252
01:14:36,380 --> 01:14:39,940
It started when I was very young.

1253
01:14:40,100 --> 01:14:42,280
I started taking
antidepressants at 14 years old.

1254
01:14:42,380 --> 01:14:45,180
My life is not
it was always easy.

1255
01:14:45,340 --> 01:14:47,480
Both whites and blacks
they rejected me and, from

1256
01:14:47,580 --> 01:14:51,140
teenager, to a
At some point I got lost.

1257
01:14:51,300 --> 01:14:52,480
I've reached my limit.

1258
01:14:52,580 --> 01:14:56,400
Feeling rejected, never be
in the right place... it was difficult.

1259
01:14:56,500 --> 01:14:59,900
But it was seen as
a white thing.

1260
01:15:00,060 --> 01:15:04,860
We don't take care of our children,
we don't take them to a psychologist.

1261
01:15:05,500 --> 01:15:07,580
It was difficult for my mother.

1262
01:15:07,740 --> 01:15:12,300
From a black mother: "My daughter can't go
by a psychologist. What will people say?".

1263
01:15:12,460 --> 01:15:16,420
So he never talked about it.
He was definitely ashamed...

1264
01:15:16,900 --> 01:15:20,580
But this is yet another
clichés we have about ourselves.

1265
01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:24,500
I think we have to
accept being...

1266
01:15:25,940 --> 01:15:29,980
We must not remain stuck
to the idea that blacks are...

1267
01:15:30,140 --> 01:15:34,380
in this racist vision that
we are different from other human beings.

1268
01:15:35,380 --> 01:15:39,380
This is my problem
with pan-Africanism:

1269
01:15:39,540 --> 01:15:43,500
have to prove
to be strong,

1270
01:15:43,660 --> 01:15:47,260
powerful, demonstrate
to be "perfect".

1271
01:15:47,940 --> 01:15:49,940
Eventually you hit a wall.

1272
01:15:50,900 --> 01:15:52,520
We are only human.

1273
01:15:52,620 --> 01:15:56,380
We have weaknesses.
We must accept and analyze them.

1274
01:15:56,860 --> 01:16:00,900
Once we understand them and there
we accept, we can move forward.

1275
01:16:01,460 --> 01:16:03,700
People are used to it
to the pain of blacks.

1276
01:16:05,060 --> 01:16:07,420
They are so used to it...

1277
01:16:08,140 --> 01:16:09,800
who become numb.

1278
01:16:09,900 --> 01:16:13,980
Just compare the number of deaths...
There are different meters.

1279
01:16:14,140 --> 01:16:17,780
When you say that in Congo
Between 6 and 10 million died...

1280
01:16:19,020 --> 01:16:20,680
people remain indifferent.

1281
01:16:20,780 --> 01:16:23,420
10 million, this is Belgium.

1282
01:16:25,020 --> 01:16:28,220
And it also affects us
individual level...

1283
01:16:30,580 --> 01:16:34,780
For blacks it doesn't matter
if they suffer like that...

1284
01:16:35,100 --> 01:16:39,100
I think it's related to a lot of things.

1285
01:16:39,820 --> 01:16:44,140
It is a consequence of
slavery and colonialism.

1286
01:16:44,300 --> 01:16:45,640
It's normal.

1287
01:16:45,740 --> 01:16:49,268
It still impacts us
and on our mental health.

1288
01:16:49,900 --> 01:16:52,980
I think you are very
more defenseless when

1289
01:16:53,140 --> 01:16:56,980
you're black and depressed
how white and depressed.

1290
01:16:57,140 --> 01:16:59,140
Because we are not...

1291
01:16:59,380 --> 01:17:02,660
we don't know who to turn to
to ask for help.

1292
01:17:02,820 --> 01:17:04,860
And our families are not...

1293
01:17:05,020 --> 01:17:07,820
It's already enough
difficult to talk about.

1294
01:17:07,980 --> 01:17:11,180
But talking to people
who don't believe it exists,

1295
01:17:12,860 --> 01:17:15,220
who don't believe in
depression or in

1296
01:17:15,380 --> 01:17:18,180
mental illness...
It's even more difficult.

1297
01:17:18,820 --> 01:17:22,460
Because the consequences
of racism compel

1298
01:17:22,620 --> 01:17:26,940
people in a state of
urgency and survival,

1299
01:17:28,100 --> 01:17:32,940
you don't have time to think or
worry about your mental health.

1300
01:17:33,100 --> 01:17:37,340
This too is overlooked
and perhaps seen as a fake

1301
01:17:37,500 --> 01:17:40,960
problem, since the only thing
what matters is survival.

1302
01:17:41,060 --> 01:17:44,380
I really think it's not...

1303
01:17:45,420 --> 01:17:46,920
How to say?

1304
01:17:47,020 --> 01:17:51,580
Depression is a problem
white because it is expensive.

1305
01:17:51,820 --> 01:17:54,900
If anyone asks me for help,

1306
01:17:55,060 --> 01:18:00,180
"I feel uncomfortable about...
my identity problems."

1307
01:18:00,340 --> 01:18:02,620
I didn't know how...

1308
01:18:03,980 --> 01:18:07,500
where to send it or
who to direct it towards.

1309
01:18:07,660 --> 01:18:12,780
When I ended up at one
psychologist for my depression,

1310
01:18:14,140 --> 01:18:19,100
I felt they were there
things that don't

1311
01:18:19,260 --> 01:18:21,000
he could understand
when I was talking about race.

1312
01:18:21,100 --> 01:18:24,940
It wasn't something I was capable of
easily talk at that time.

1313
01:18:25,100 --> 01:18:27,860
But, even there, in a private space,

1314
01:18:28,940 --> 01:18:31,580
where you think, “I can
say anything",

1315
01:18:31,740 --> 01:18:35,100
feel as if this person
Bianca couldn't understand.

1316
01:18:37,620 --> 01:18:39,600
When I was in analysis,

1317
01:18:39,700 --> 01:18:44,980
I have analyzed the issue thoroughly
of being black in a white society,

1318
01:18:45,540 --> 01:18:49,340
to look for partners
blacks, to try to

1319
01:18:49,500 --> 01:18:55,060
be with someone
of my color.

1320
01:18:55,220 --> 01:19:01,540
And I noticed that moments were created
of silence during the sessions.

1321
01:19:02,060 --> 01:19:06,820
So, this is a problem
which is worth looking into.

1322
01:19:10,540 --> 01:19:15,180
THERE IS ONLY ONE HUMAN RACE

1323
01:19:17,300 --> 01:19:18,880
In Haiti,

1324
01:19:18,980 --> 01:19:22,820
I never have
asked a lot of questions

1325
01:19:22,980 --> 01:19:25,820
on race, while � 
omnipresent in France.

1326
01:19:25,980 --> 01:19:30,540
I think we have to
say the word "race".

1327
01:19:30,700 --> 01:19:32,120
Because it exists.

1328
01:19:32,220 --> 01:19:36,220
It materializes in
our lives, in ours

1329
01:19:36,380 --> 01:19:40,660
bodies, in the way
which they are perceived,

1330
01:19:40,820 --> 01:19:43,580
in our relationships with others.

1331
01:19:43,740 --> 01:19:45,720
I think it's hypocritical
banish her from

1332
01:19:45,820 --> 01:19:50,300
Constitution e
say it doesn't exist.

1333
01:19:50,460 --> 01:19:52,440
Race is a reality.

1334
01:19:52,540 --> 01:19:54,200
If we don't name things,

1335
01:19:54,300 --> 01:19:56,300
we won't have to fight them

1336
01:19:56,420 --> 01:19:58,700
and we won't see that there are problems.

1337
01:19:59,100 --> 01:20:02,780
Today, in France, say
"race does not exist",

1338
01:20:03,020 --> 01:20:06,220
It's a way to avoid
address racial issues.

1339
01:20:06,580 --> 01:20:09,020
Everyone knows, we're not idiots.

1340
01:20:09,180 --> 01:20:11,640
We know it exists
only one human race, but

1341
01:20:11,740 --> 01:20:14,940
“race” describes a
certain social reality.

1342
01:20:15,100 --> 01:20:19,420
Once we accept
that race is indicative

1343
01:20:19,580 --> 01:20:21,080
of social reality, we must
be able to say that word.

1344
01:20:21,180 --> 01:20:23,500
In this way, we can

1345
01:20:23,660 --> 01:20:26,020
talk about it and do research...

1346
01:20:26,180 --> 01:20:28,620
Now we need it
of an instrument

1347
01:20:29,780 --> 01:20:32,340
to articulate our struggle,

1348
01:20:33,260 --> 01:20:38,060
to talk about our oppression
in a clear and concrete way.

1349
01:20:38,220 --> 01:20:41,620
And if there is a need for studies

1350
01:20:41,780 --> 01:20:43,760
sociological and
statistics, let's do them.

1351
01:20:43,860 --> 01:20:46,324
I was once against it
ethnic statistics

1352
01:20:46,460 --> 01:20:48,820
because I didn't understand the meaning of it.

1353
01:20:48,980 --> 01:20:50,960
I saw them as a form of
surveillance, as another way

1354
01:20:51,060 --> 01:20:54,580
to interfere
in people's lives.

1355
01:20:54,900 --> 01:20:56,640
Then I understood,
when I studied

1356
01:20:56,740 --> 01:21:01,500
gender discrimination,

1357
01:21:01,660 --> 01:21:05,380
we were able to
identify the problem why

1358
01:21:05,540 --> 01:21:09,100
we knew the relationship between
men and women in a company,

1359
01:21:09,260 --> 01:21:11,940
we could compare
their salaries and

1360
01:21:12,100 --> 01:21:14,620
realize that the
women earn less.

1361
01:21:14,780 --> 01:21:17,220
It is illegal to have files in which

1362
01:21:17,380 --> 01:21:20,660
a name is connected to an ethnicity.

1363
01:21:20,820 --> 01:21:23,380
You can't say:
"Fania Noel is black".

1364
01:21:23,540 --> 01:21:27,620
This is impossible in
an official file. But

1365
01:21:27,780 --> 01:21:30,980
you can count how many
there are whites, blacks or Arabs.

1366
01:21:31,140 --> 01:21:35,180
But then you need 5 people:
one to count each ethnicity, then

1367
01:21:35,340 --> 01:21:38,600
one more to make sure
no one has been forgotten.

1368
01:21:38,700 --> 01:21:42,060
And the same goes for education,
if you go to school...

1369
01:21:42,220 --> 01:21:44,620
In the countries where it is
allowed, people

1370
01:21:44,780 --> 01:21:47,320
tick a box
saying the ethnic origin,

1371
01:21:47,420 --> 01:21:50,200
then it all ends in one
Excel and do the math.

1372
01:21:50,300 --> 01:21:52,580
But not here. We have to go...

1373
01:21:52,740 --> 01:21:56,100
If you look at 15 middle schools,
you have to go to the institute,

1374
01:21:56,260 --> 01:21:59,460
take the file of
each student, one by one,

1375
01:21:59,620 --> 01:22:02,540
then check them
color, name, etc.

1376
01:22:02,700 --> 01:22:04,440
If we had ethnic statistics,

1377
01:22:04,540 --> 01:22:08,580
I think they would show the
real racial problems in France.

1378
01:22:08,740 --> 01:22:10,280
But we can avoid the issue.

1379
01:22:10,380 --> 01:22:13,780
It's a way to hide
our problems,

1380
01:22:14,140 --> 01:22:16,540
to hide them and keep us quiet.

1381
01:22:19,980 --> 01:22:24,380
THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING MORE URGENT

1382
01:22:26,260 --> 01:22:28,840
When I look at the life of
my mother and my aunts,

1383
01:22:28,940 --> 01:22:32,020
I think, “Actually, they are powerful!”

1384
01:22:33,700 --> 01:22:38,340
for me, this is the
feminism that I have known.

1385
01:22:38,940 --> 01:22:42,580
It's true that the feminist world
It is mainly white.

1386
01:22:42,740 --> 01:22:44,200
This is very true.

1387
01:22:44,300 --> 01:22:48,020
We don't have the same ones
political objectives.

1388
01:22:48,620 --> 01:22:51,580
That's why I found it
what an "Afro-feminist"

1389
01:22:51,740 --> 01:22:54,500
is the most suitable term for me.

1390
01:22:55,340 --> 01:23:00,060
At first, I was active in the struggle
pan-Africanism against neocolonialism.

1391
01:23:00,220 --> 01:23:04,420
But I soon gave up
I realize that the related themes

1392
01:23:04,580 --> 01:23:07,860
they didn't come to the women
really studied.

1393
01:23:08,020 --> 01:23:13,300
I think there's a lot of scope
improvement in pan-Africanism.

1394
01:23:13,540 --> 01:23:18,180
So that's how it is
my pan-Africanism...

1395
01:23:18,340 --> 01:23:21,380
it turned into
afro-feminism.

1396
01:23:21,940 --> 01:23:24,380
Maybe we've reached a

1397
01:23:24,540 --> 01:23:28,260
point where we have to
be the ones to talk...

1398
01:23:30,980 --> 01:23:34,400
instead of letting them be
the others to do it in our place.

1399
01:23:34,500 --> 01:23:36,500
There is also this aspect.

1400
01:23:36,940 --> 01:23:40,300
For too long, they are
there were others who spoke in favor

1401
01:23:40,460 --> 01:23:42,760
of minorities,
without any legitimacy.

1402
01:23:42,860 --> 01:23:45,700
This is a real problem.
Who is speaking?

1403
01:23:46,140 --> 01:23:49,860
I think we've arrived
to a moment when...

1404
01:23:50,500 --> 01:23:54,220
Afro-feminism will gain
a lot of land.

1405
01:23:54,700 --> 01:23:56,400
I hope so, anyway.

1406
01:23:56,500 --> 01:24:01,420
I hope he will allow it
to Afro women to build

1407
01:24:04,260 --> 01:24:06,580
the tools for
their emancipation.

1408
01:24:07,580 --> 01:24:12,500
With or without veil,
equality for all mothers.

1409
01:24:15,140 --> 01:24:17,820
Respect for dignity
of Muslim mothers.

1410
01:24:17,980 --> 01:24:20,620
All children are the same.

1411
01:24:26,940 --> 01:24:29,420
Has the Grand Imam already arrived?

1412
01:24:30,020 --> 01:24:32,020
The Imam we invited today.

1413
01:24:38,140 --> 01:24:40,740
So, I'll be the one to introduce him,

1414
01:24:41,300 --> 01:24:43,300
together with two other people.

1415
01:24:43,460 --> 01:24:47,940
So, two mothers will talk
for 5 minutes. We all have 5 minutes.

1416
01:24:48,100 --> 01:24:51,580
So we will keep 1 hour or
90 minutes for discussion

1417
01:24:51,740 --> 01:24:54,780
and will interrupt anyone
you talk too long.

1418
01:24:54,940 --> 01:24:56,940
I'm good at this.

1419
01:25:00,580 --> 01:25:02,580
Who was Elsa looking for?

1420
01:25:06,540 --> 01:25:08,740
Good evening to everyone.

1421
01:25:09,020 --> 01:25:12,780
Thanks for participating
to this event

1422
01:25:12,940 --> 01:25:14,400
organized by Mamans
Toutes Egales, with Edwy Plenel

1423
01:25:14,500 --> 01:25:17,980
for the publication of his
book, "Pour les musulmans"..

1424
01:25:19,700 --> 01:25:24,420
On behalf of the association,
I would like to thank the structure

1425
01:25:24,580 --> 01:25:27,600
which allowed us to organize
this event in Montreuil,

1426
01:25:27,700 --> 01:25:30,140
an important city
for our fight

1427
01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:35,500
against the exclusion of mothers with
the veil from the children's school trips.

1428
01:25:36,540 --> 01:25:39,700
For me political activism
It started at school.

1429
01:25:40,020 --> 01:25:44,760
I organized school strikes in Senegal,
but I hid for fear of my mother...

1430
01:25:44,860 --> 01:25:48,020
But I think she's the one who
he passed it on to me.

1431
01:25:48,180 --> 01:25:52,100
He was in a union, a
demonstrations, strikes.

1432
01:25:52,620 --> 01:25:55,420
But it actually started here...

1433
01:25:57,900 --> 01:25:59,900
at the end of 2003,

1434
01:26:00,380 --> 01:26:04,780
shortly before the law
from 2004 which..

1435
01:26:05,780 --> 01:26:11,540
banned religious symbols in school,
excluding most of the girls

1436
01:26:12,300 --> 01:26:16,660
from school because
they wore veils.

1437
01:26:16,820 --> 01:26:17,840
It started like this.

1438
01:26:17,940 --> 01:26:21,240
That's when I am
become... very, very active.

1439
01:26:21,340 --> 01:26:23,580
I found it really unfair.

1440
01:26:23,740 --> 01:26:28,580
You can't stop girls from
go to school, no matter why.

1441
01:26:29,020 --> 01:26:31,000
So, I started in 2004.

1442
01:26:31,100 --> 01:26:33,100
I fought that law.

1443
01:26:34,060 --> 01:26:37,140
He won't say he lost, given
that I'm still struggling.

1444
01:26:37,780 --> 01:26:39,900
And, since 2011,

1445
01:26:40,060 --> 01:26:43,440
I am part of Mamans Toutes
Egales, who fights to allow

1446
01:26:43,540 --> 01:26:49,980
to mothers with the veil to accompany
their children on school trips.

1447
01:26:50,500 --> 01:26:54,060
The 2004 law
It was the cause of...

1448
01:26:55,260 --> 01:26:57,260
He made it possible

1449
01:26:58,060 --> 01:27:01,580
discriminate more and more
Muslims, especially women,

1450
01:27:01,860 --> 01:27:04,300
in every area of society.

1451
01:27:05,620 --> 01:27:07,720
Even during mine
feminist activism,

1452
01:27:07,820 --> 01:27:10,900
I was part of
feminist associations...

1453
01:27:11,900 --> 01:27:15,580
When we went to rallies

1454
01:27:16,780 --> 01:27:19,120
for the day
Women's International...

1455
01:27:19,220 --> 01:27:21,300
"Woman" instead of Women...

1456
01:27:22,860 --> 01:27:25,492
since we wore the veil,
we were asked:

1457
01:27:25,620 --> 01:27:28,540
"What is your position
about abortion?"

1458
01:27:28,700 --> 01:27:30,680
No one else was asked.

1459
01:27:30,780 --> 01:27:34,820
We were suspects
to be there for...

1460
01:27:36,380 --> 01:27:38,380
Don't fight for equality.

1461
01:27:38,740 --> 01:27:40,240
We had another agenda.

1462
01:27:40,340 --> 01:27:42,340
You have to justify yourself.

1463
01:27:43,180 --> 01:27:44,880
White women? Okay. But you?

1464
01:27:44,980 --> 01:27:47,388
Especially Muslims!
"Why are you here?"

1465
01:27:47,820 --> 01:27:50,540
Then I was asked
of homosexuality e

1466
01:27:50,700 --> 01:27:53,380
of my position
on domestic violence

1467
01:27:53,540 --> 01:27:58,500
as if I were a victim, or thought
that women should suffer violence.

1468
01:27:59,020 --> 01:28:00,680
Or as if I weren't
truly a woman.

1469
01:28:00,780 --> 01:28:02,360
But... I never quite understood.

1470
01:28:02,460 --> 01:28:07,140
I participated in the March
Women's World Cup in 2005.

1471
01:28:07,740 --> 01:28:09,740
They didn't let us talk.

1472
01:28:10,060 --> 01:28:12,060
French women, in particular.

1473
01:28:13,140 --> 01:28:15,360
We turned to women
Spanish for support,

1474
01:28:15,460 --> 01:28:19,540
saying, "Would you believe it?
a march in favor of women

1475
01:28:19,700 --> 01:28:23,900
and women silence others
women, they do violence to us."

1476
01:28:24,060 --> 01:28:27,756
Then they realized that too
we are women. And they stopped.

1477
01:28:27,980 --> 01:28:32,060
We heard slogans like:

1478
01:28:32,260 --> 01:28:35,820
"Solidarity with all women
except those with veils."

1479
01:28:36,500 --> 01:28:38,940
It's a slogan I have
heard in Marseille.

1480
01:28:39,580 --> 01:28:43,380
"Except for women with headscarves." It was
the World Women's March...

1481
01:28:43,660 --> 01:28:46,620
A woman can choose
what to do with your own

1482
01:28:46,780 --> 01:28:51,460
body, and this means
dress as you wish.

1483
01:28:51,620 --> 01:28:53,200
Can we or can't we choose?

1484
01:28:53,300 --> 01:28:56,980
If you don't see it in this
way, you are not a woman.

1485
01:28:58,180 --> 01:29:01,020
I dealt with that
violence in 2004-2005.

1486
01:29:02,420 --> 01:29:07,660
"We've been fighting for years
take back our bodies!"

1487
01:29:07,820 --> 01:29:09,820
What do you think he's doing?

1488
01:29:11,380 --> 01:29:15,140
They don't even have it
realized I was

1489
01:29:15,940 --> 01:29:19,580
subjecting women to that
they were fighting against.

1490
01:29:19,940 --> 01:29:23,620
And it is all the more violent
when women do it.

1491
01:29:24,740 --> 01:29:26,740
It's even more violent.

1492
01:29:27,460 --> 01:29:29,280
In the name of equality.

1493
01:29:29,380 --> 01:29:32,520
But, once again, � 
equality for white women.

1494
01:29:32,620 --> 01:29:34,780
White women are the norm.

1495
01:29:34,940 --> 01:29:36,940
Either you comply or, in the end...

1496
01:29:39,260 --> 01:29:41,260
stay in your corner.

1497
01:29:41,380 --> 01:29:43,620
But that's how it becomes
ethnic separatism.

1498
01:29:43,780 --> 01:29:45,780
Of course it is.

1499
01:29:45,980 --> 01:29:49,660
When white people stay
together, it is not sectarian.

1500
01:29:50,940 --> 01:29:52,840
But when you do it,
of course it is!

1501
01:29:52,940 --> 01:29:54,880
"You must mix,
Don't stay between yourselves."

1502
01:29:54,980 --> 01:29:56,980
But we don't want to mix.

1503
01:29:57,780 --> 01:30:02,180
Personally, I don't think so
ever wanted to mix.

1504
01:30:03,020 --> 01:30:05,380
I am as I am. But it's difficult

1505
01:30:05,540 --> 01:30:07,700
why, when
I'm accepted...

1506
01:30:07,860 --> 01:30:09,400
"Accepted..." See?

1507
01:30:09,500 --> 01:30:10,880
When I'm accepted,
there are aspects, like the

1508
01:30:10,980 --> 01:30:15,540
my faith, they come
immediately rejected.

1509
01:30:15,700 --> 01:30:18,440
"We fought for
be free from religion

1510
01:30:18,540 --> 01:30:20,880
and now a woman wants
reimpose religion?"

1511
01:30:20,980 --> 01:30:22,440
This is the shocking thing.

1512
01:30:22,540 --> 01:30:25,140
I heard that phrase
verbatim.

1513
01:30:25,300 --> 01:30:29,020
I didn't invent it. Not me
I'm surprised you heard it.

1514
01:30:30,220 --> 01:30:34,420
"We fought to free ourselves from
religion. You won't be the one to reimpose it."

1515
01:30:34,740 --> 01:30:38,620
That's why we have to
reclaim the terms...

1516
01:30:38,780 --> 01:30:40,520
Yes, you fought there
religion, but others are

1517
01:30:40,620 --> 01:30:43,460
fighting for
take it back instead...

1518
01:30:44,180 --> 01:30:46,532
To make it an instrument
of emancipation.

1519
01:30:46,660 --> 01:30:48,780
Why impose your fight?

1520
01:30:50,180 --> 01:30:52,960
These old ladies don't want it
give way to the young.

1521
01:30:53,060 --> 01:30:54,840
Even though I'm not young,

1522
01:30:54,940 --> 01:30:57,660
I'm still young
in these struggles.

1523
01:30:58,020 --> 01:30:59,600
But they want to keep them to themselves.

1524
01:30:59,700 --> 01:31:03,460
"We did it like this,
the truth is this. That's how it is."

1525
01:31:03,620 --> 01:31:05,700
They are often those on the left,

1526
01:31:05,860 --> 01:31:08,420
which is even more violent...

1527
01:31:08,580 --> 01:31:12,260
You would expect these things
are taken into consideration.

1528
01:31:12,420 --> 01:31:14,420
But no.

1529
01:31:14,940 --> 01:31:17,340
There's always something
more urgent.

1530
01:31:17,820 --> 01:31:18,960
Which is ironic,
since

1531
01:31:19,060 --> 01:31:21,660
feminists do
they often heard.

1532
01:31:21,820 --> 01:31:24,960
"The class struggle is more urgent.
You can wait."

1533
01:31:25,060 --> 01:31:27,100
And now they're doing it to us.

1534
01:31:27,820 --> 01:31:30,340
"Equality between the sexes
It's more important.

1535
01:31:30,460 --> 01:31:33,500
Your racial problems?
We'll deal with it later."

1536
01:31:33,660 --> 01:31:34,880
It's more urgent...

1537
01:31:34,980 --> 01:31:37,960
They are always the same
establish what is urgent.

1538
01:31:38,060 --> 01:31:40,280
They won't let you
decide which problem

1539
01:31:40,380 --> 01:31:44,500
is more urgent. For
They are all urgent for me.

1540
01:31:44,660 --> 01:31:47,140
I simply want
defend them all

1541
01:31:47,700 --> 01:31:49,860
and fight from every angle.

1542
01:31:53,060 --> 01:31:58,060
VISITORS ARE NOT ALLOWED

1543
01:31:59,580 --> 01:32:01,620
I was born in Tours.

1544
01:32:01,780 --> 01:32:04,220
My mother is Jewish
Polish and mine

1545
01:32:04,380 --> 01:32:07,540
father is a Muslim from Gambia.

1546
01:32:08,980 --> 01:32:11,620
They are still together
and they are fine.

1547
01:32:11,780 --> 01:32:14,280
They decided I should
study the Talmud.

1548
01:32:14,380 --> 01:32:17,800
So, I got an education
religious since the age of 7.

1549
01:32:17,900 --> 01:32:22,180
And, if I can, I would like to
thank Rabbi Sayagh,

1550
01:32:22,340 --> 01:32:24,840
who gave me an education
open-minded.

1551
01:32:24,940 --> 01:32:26,760
So it wasn't a problem,
for me.

1552
01:32:26,860 --> 01:32:28,440
When I arrived in Paris,

1553
01:32:28,540 --> 01:32:31,420
I thought I'd observe
Kippur, as always.

1554
01:32:31,580 --> 01:32:35,340
I went to one
synagogue with a friend,

1555
01:32:35,500 --> 01:32:38,860
actually a gym,
set up for the occasion.

1556
01:32:39,820 --> 01:32:44,660
And, when I entered, I heard
a sort of tension in the air.

1557
01:32:44,820 --> 01:32:47,580
When we are
get to the section

1558
01:32:47,740 --> 01:32:49,756
feminine, two
security guards

1559
01:32:49,900 --> 01:32:53,020
they approached my friend.

1560
01:32:54,260 --> 01:32:57,380
They didn't talk to me, perhaps
because they could get dirty

1561
01:32:57,540 --> 01:33:01,700
on Yom Kippur: the
day of great forgiveness...

1562
01:33:02,660 --> 01:33:05,740
They told her: "The visitors
they are not allowed.

1563
01:33:05,900 --> 01:33:08,020
Do you know this person?"

1564
01:33:08,220 --> 01:33:10,220
And that word: "visitors"...

1565
01:33:10,340 --> 01:33:15,700
By the way, my mother's family is
ended up in concentration camps.

1566
01:33:15,860 --> 01:33:17,860
It was devastating.

1567
01:33:18,380 --> 01:33:20,360
You told me that, following

1568
01:33:20,460 --> 01:33:25,180
that accident
of Yom Kippur,

1569
01:33:25,340 --> 01:33:28,380
you decided to enter
in a group:

1570
01:33:28,540 --> 01:33:30,780
a Jewish community
international?

1571
01:33:30,940 --> 01:33:32,940
Exactly. It's...

1572
01:33:34,460 --> 01:33:36,460
a Jewish-American community

1573
01:33:36,620 --> 01:33:39,300
and there is an office in my city.

1574
01:33:41,260 --> 01:33:45,060
It's beautiful, because
it's not at all...

1575
01:33:45,220 --> 01:33:47,220
How to say?

1576
01:33:48,060 --> 01:33:51,380
She's American, so � 
open-minded.

1577
01:33:51,540 --> 01:33:54,180
He is open-minded
and very playful.

1578
01:33:54,340 --> 01:33:56,080
I signed up my daughter so

1579
01:33:56,180 --> 01:34:00,060
that he could know
the Talmud

1580
01:34:00,220 --> 01:34:03,700
to start learning
to write and read.

1581
01:34:04,340 --> 01:34:07,060
And, in this community, there are

1582
01:34:07,540 --> 01:34:11,700
people originally from Asia,
of India...

1583
01:34:12,020 --> 01:34:13,840
Do you read and write in Hebrew?

1584
01:34:13,940 --> 01:34:16,700
I can do both, yes.

1585
01:34:17,300 --> 01:34:19,160
Like I said,

1586
01:34:19,260 --> 01:34:22,380
I grew up in one
very religious family.

1587
01:34:22,540 --> 01:34:26,660
My father taught catechism

1588
01:34:26,820 --> 01:34:28,480
to young people when
it was in the Comoros.

1589
01:34:28,580 --> 01:34:30,660
He continued to France.

1590
01:34:30,820 --> 01:34:34,980
I went to a school
Koranic every Sunday,

1591
01:34:35,140 --> 01:34:38,660
where I learned to
read and understand Arabic.

1592
01:34:38,820 --> 01:34:42,420
I also learned religious stories.

1593
01:34:42,580 --> 01:34:45,436
So, religion is
It was a strong foundation for me

1594
01:34:45,580 --> 01:34:48,580
and it was very precious
for my education.

1595
01:34:48,740 --> 01:34:53,740
Religion was also a...
let's say a lighthouse, for me.

1596
01:34:53,900 --> 01:34:58,500
Every time I was there
when faced with situations

1597
01:34:58,660 --> 01:35:01,340
difficult, that I felt
alone or misunderstood,

1598
01:35:01,500 --> 01:35:04,020
I turned to him often
to religion,

1599
01:35:04,740 --> 01:35:06,400
especially for how much
It's about racism

1600
01:35:06,500 --> 01:35:09,900
because many stories about the Prophet,

1601
01:35:10,060 --> 01:35:12,860
they tell the...

1602
01:35:13,700 --> 01:35:16,420
the condition of black men.

1603
01:35:16,580 --> 01:35:18,560
It was very educational.

1604
01:35:18,660 --> 01:35:20,740
Do you know Bilal's story?

1605
01:35:20,900 --> 01:35:23,620
Bilal was a slave

1606
01:35:23,780 --> 01:35:26,020
who was freed by one of...

1607
01:35:27,020 --> 01:35:28,640
companions of the Prophet
to become the first

1608
01:35:28,740 --> 01:35:33,260
muezzin: the man who leads
the call to prayer.

1609
01:35:33,740 --> 01:35:37,060
Bilal became
an important man

1610
01:35:37,220 --> 01:35:41,140
and his story tells us

1611
01:35:41,300 --> 01:35:45,100
the prejudices he has had
face when he wanted to get married.

1612
01:35:45,260 --> 01:35:47,260
Many situations.

1613
01:35:48,500 --> 01:35:51,680
For many people of color
that I know, is a reference.

1614
01:35:51,780 --> 01:35:54,940
We saw it as
a sort of Kunta Kinte.

1615
01:35:55,100 --> 01:35:58,380
We've seen it
obtain his freedom...

1616
01:35:58,540 --> 01:36:01,740
It was one of my stories
favorites as a child.

1617
01:36:02,020 --> 01:36:05,540
I found freedom
through religion.

1618
01:36:05,700 --> 01:36:09,180
Especially for how much
it's about the questions I have

1619
01:36:09,340 --> 01:36:12,880
I asked, like what kind of woman
I would have liked to be, then and later.

1620
01:36:12,980 --> 01:36:15,620
I found it often
answers in religion.

1621
01:36:15,780 --> 01:36:19,220
It serves as the basis for my life.

1622
01:36:19,380 --> 01:36:21,780
It's an integral part of me.

1623
01:36:21,940 --> 01:36:24,540
My spirituality is part
of what I am.

1624
01:36:25,100 --> 01:36:28,500
I really think that the
religion can be a basis.

1625
01:36:28,660 --> 01:36:34,060
Why, if you feel
already good in your life,

1626
01:36:35,900 --> 01:36:40,620
you can emancipate yourself and
improve your life,

1627
01:36:40,780 --> 01:36:44,540
as well as the life of
people around you.

1628
01:36:45,980 --> 01:36:50,380
Then, there is the experience...
again, in the United States...

1629
01:36:51,860 --> 01:36:55,020
of the Movement
for civil rights,

1630
01:36:55,180 --> 01:36:58,500
which was supported by
Jewish community.

1631
01:36:58,660 --> 01:37:03,660
After the Jews had
lived the American dream,

1632
01:37:04,500 --> 01:37:08,420
they could not accept that i
blacks were treated that way.

1633
01:37:08,580 --> 01:37:11,860
I think that, within the scope
of their faith, some

1634
01:37:12,020 --> 01:37:15,580
things are worth being
maintained, while others are not.

1635
01:37:15,740 --> 01:37:17,720
Especially in
Catholicism which,

1636
01:37:17,820 --> 01:37:20,500
when it comes
of social issues,

1637
01:37:20,660 --> 01:37:22,360
he has a lot of work to do.

1638
01:37:22,460 --> 01:37:25,220
In particular, it has a
very complicated relationship

1639
01:37:25,380 --> 01:37:28,460
with the condition of women

1640
01:37:29,180 --> 01:37:30,640
in the Bible.

1641
01:37:30,740 --> 01:37:34,860
The condition of blacks,
of women...

1642
01:37:35,700 --> 01:37:39,780
You have to take the
distances from certain elements.

1643
01:37:39,940 --> 01:37:44,940
Some things are not meant to be taken
on the staff. This is not the point.

1644
01:37:45,100 --> 01:37:48,860
Maybe that's why
I don't go to church anymore.

1645
01:37:49,020 --> 01:37:50,920
Being part of that system...

1646
01:37:51,020 --> 01:37:53,580
it is not a system
values suitable for me.

1647
01:37:53,740 --> 01:37:55,980
I prefer to be
religious alone.

1648
01:37:56,140 --> 01:37:59,260
Me and... the powers
divine of the case.

1649
01:38:00,060 --> 01:38:04,140
Having a mediator...
I don't believe in all this.

1650
01:38:04,300 --> 01:38:08,860
The truth is that Arab countries are
particularly negrophobic.

1651
01:38:09,020 --> 01:38:11,780
I experienced it, I saw it.

1652
01:38:11,940 --> 01:38:13,720
They are negrophobes.

1653
01:38:13,820 --> 01:38:17,540
I don't think so
that depends on

1654
01:38:17,700 --> 01:38:21,420
religion, but be based
on false interpretations

1655
01:38:21,580 --> 01:38:26,020
or social characteristics that
we too have to fight.

1656
01:38:26,180 --> 01:38:29,540
Catholicism in Haiti
It's completely different.

1657
01:38:29,700 --> 01:38:32,140
Yes, homophobia also exists

1658
01:38:32,300 --> 01:38:34,780
there, but here it's a big mess.

1659
01:38:34,940 --> 01:38:38,020
They openly reject people.

1660
01:38:38,180 --> 01:38:41,020
It is a religion that preaches...

1661
01:38:41,180 --> 01:38:43,620
"Love your neighbor",

1662
01:38:43,780 --> 01:38:45,440
but I don't see this.

1663
01:38:45,540 --> 01:38:50,140
Many declare themselves religious,
but they are racist and homophobic.

1664
01:38:50,540 --> 01:38:54,100
You can't be religious
and reject people.

1665
01:38:54,260 --> 01:38:56,500
I can't stand it
this contradiction.

1666
01:38:56,660 --> 01:38:59,100
So I prefer
profess alone

1667
01:38:59,260 --> 01:39:02,260
and not in the community,
or pray in church.

1668
01:39:02,420 --> 01:39:06,564
My belief is that God is everywhere.
This is how I profess my faith.

1669
01:39:09,660 --> 01:39:14,660
MAKING PEOPLE PISS OFF

1670
01:39:16,020 --> 01:39:21,180
I got into the habit of
define myself as a "hetero-rist".

1671
01:39:21,340 --> 01:39:23,340
I like it...

1672
01:39:23,980 --> 01:39:25,400
I like the term.

1673
01:39:25,500 --> 01:39:28,620
In fact, I think there is...

1674
01:39:29,260 --> 01:39:32,900
already discussing sexuality, indeed
of sexuality in

1675
01:39:33,060 --> 01:39:34,800
Afro community is not easy.

1676
01:39:34,900 --> 01:39:38,260
I see it in the work I do

1677
01:39:39,100 --> 01:39:41,540
in the fight against AIDS.

1678
01:39:42,260 --> 01:39:46,060
Talking about sexuality in
our communities is difficult.

1679
01:39:47,700 --> 01:39:50,660
As for
homosexuality...

1680
01:39:52,460 --> 01:39:55,260
I realize that
indeed the world

1681
01:39:55,420 --> 01:39:58,540
white sees us
as heterosexuals.

1682
01:39:58,820 --> 01:40:02,820
They can never imagine
that black homosexuals exist.

1683
01:40:02,980 --> 01:40:04,640
The same goes for us,
as an Afro.

1684
01:40:04,740 --> 01:40:08,100
I think there isn't any
we don't even realize.

1685
01:40:08,260 --> 01:40:10,260
Yet it exists.

1686
01:40:12,180 --> 01:40:15,260
In our communities
we see a lot of contempt...

1687
01:40:16,100 --> 01:40:17,920
homophobia.

1688
01:40:18,020 --> 01:40:21,300
But also gender stereotypes.

1689
01:40:21,460 --> 01:40:26,300
Once you stop
correspond to the standard norms

1690
01:40:26,460 --> 01:40:29,580
of femininity or alle
norms of masculinity,

1691
01:40:29,740 --> 01:40:34,220
very quickly,
you will be rejected...

1692
01:40:35,860 --> 01:40:38,996
Anyway, I'll try. Ed
This is what I like most,

1693
01:40:39,100 --> 01:40:41,740
try to explore
these problems.

1694
01:40:41,900 --> 01:40:45,460
Especially in my program
radio station, "Nasema",

1695
01:40:45,740 --> 01:40:48,620
where do I give the word...

1696
01:40:48,780 --> 01:40:51,140
to gays, lesbians,

1697
01:40:51,460 --> 01:40:54,620
bisexual, transgender.

1698
01:40:54,820 --> 01:40:58,540
It's very interesting, because I
it allowed me to understand too,

1699
01:40:58,700 --> 01:41:03,460
how difficult it is to explore
our sexualities,

1700
01:41:03,980 --> 01:41:07,100
free from judgment
of our communities.

1701
01:41:08,140 --> 01:41:10,580
For a while I said
of being bisexual,

1702
01:41:10,740 --> 01:41:13,060
without ever having gone out
with a woman.

1703
01:41:14,020 --> 01:41:16,100
When it finally happened,

1704
01:41:16,260 --> 01:41:20,260
when I had
around 23 or 25 years old...

1705
01:41:20,420 --> 01:41:24,540
It was immediately obvious,
natural and easy.

1706
01:41:24,700 --> 01:41:26,700
10 days later,

1707
01:41:26,980 --> 01:41:30,320
I dumped my boyfriend
Burkina-Faso, then I told my parents:

1708
01:41:30,420 --> 01:41:32,420
"I'm going out with...

1709
01:41:33,340 --> 01:41:36,540
a woman, who
He'll be here soon!"

1710
01:41:36,700 --> 01:41:39,060
I don't like them very much
the labels.

1711
01:41:39,460 --> 01:41:43,380
I'm with a woman, then
you might say I'm a lesbian.

1712
01:41:43,540 --> 01:41:45,540
But...

1713
01:41:45,940 --> 01:41:48,260
I don't care
really all of this.

1714
01:41:48,420 --> 01:41:51,500
We spent years at
question minorities.

1715
01:41:51,660 --> 01:41:56,028
I think it's about time that
minorities question the majority.

1716
01:41:56,420 --> 01:42:00,116
Let them question
heterosexuality, being white...

1717
01:42:00,380 --> 01:42:03,460
The whole story was born
from weddings for everyone,

1718
01:42:03,620 --> 01:42:05,560
which made me think about it.

1719
01:42:05,660 --> 01:42:07,660
All those French...

1720
01:42:09,660 --> 01:42:12,300
whites, protesting

1721
01:42:12,460 --> 01:42:14,120
in the streets, angry

1722
01:42:14,220 --> 01:42:18,180
why two men or two
women could marry.

1723
01:42:18,340 --> 01:42:20,380
There's this thing...

1724
01:42:20,540 --> 01:42:24,860
Maybe I'm exaggerating but: "Help! Yes
they are taking our privileges!

1725
01:42:25,020 --> 01:42:29,260
The wedding is ours!
It belongs to us.

1726
01:42:29,900 --> 01:42:33,900
Only heterosexuals
they can be good parents..."

1727
01:42:34,060 --> 01:42:37,620
I don't know. We don't put in
doubt about hetero-parenting.

1728
01:42:37,780 --> 01:42:41,380
I don't define myself as heterosexual.

1729
01:42:41,540 --> 01:42:44,340
I don't see mine
heterosexual life

1730
01:42:44,500 --> 01:42:47,380
like something linear.

1731
01:42:47,620 --> 01:42:52,700
Today I can't stand how they
people see their identities

1732
01:42:52,860 --> 01:42:57,180
carved in stone, as if
was an unshakable quality.

1733
01:42:57,340 --> 01:42:59,040
I don't see it that way.

1734
01:42:59,140 --> 01:43:01,860
I asked myself many questions,

1735
01:43:02,780 --> 01:43:04,360
when I was very young.

1736
01:43:04,460 --> 01:43:07,860
Since middle school, I would say.

1737
01:43:10,860 --> 01:43:13,020
Since sixth grade.

1738
01:43:13,220 --> 01:43:16,660
But the first time
that I went out

1739
01:43:16,820 --> 01:43:19,620
with a girl
It was in eighth grade.

1740
01:43:19,820 --> 01:43:21,360
It was well received

1741
01:43:21,460 --> 01:43:23,900
even if, later, mine

1742
01:43:24,060 --> 01:43:26,180
mother had her phase of:

1743
01:43:26,340 --> 01:43:28,340
"It's my fault,

1744
01:43:28,540 --> 01:43:30,660
I raised you badly!"

1745
01:43:30,820 --> 01:43:32,080
It's not true.

1746
01:43:32,180 --> 01:43:34,420
"Maybe it's your father's fault..."

1747
01:43:34,580 --> 01:43:39,500
But I think all parents
ask themselves the same questions.

1748
01:43:41,740 --> 01:43:45,200
It's a matter of attraction, not
you can control your feelings.

1749
01:43:45,300 --> 01:43:47,560
You just can't
press a button.

1750
01:43:47,660 --> 01:43:50,440
It's just one day I
I woke up and said:

1751
01:43:50,540 --> 01:43:53,940
"I think I'll try them
women now, I will become a lesbian,

1752
01:43:54,100 --> 01:43:57,420
like this, just to do it
piss people off."

1753
01:43:57,820 --> 01:44:00,780
But the older I get,

1754
01:44:02,860 --> 01:44:07,380
the more I am exposed to
homophobic and racist behavior,

1755
01:44:07,940 --> 01:44:11,420
the more I feel I have to be
politically active.

1756
01:44:11,580 --> 01:44:13,240
It's quite difficult,
especially

1757
01:44:13,340 --> 01:44:17,620
when you are looking
your identity,

1758
01:44:17,780 --> 01:44:20,220
and you try to find out who you are.

1759
01:44:20,860 --> 01:44:23,020
Nobody talks about you.

1760
01:44:23,180 --> 01:44:27,180
Nobody talks about women
black or black lesbians.

1761
01:44:27,340 --> 01:44:28,960
You don't see any, nor do you know any,

1762
01:44:29,060 --> 01:44:32,140
there is no actress either
an icon. You have nothing.

1763
01:44:33,500 --> 01:44:37,060
And I don't think it helps.
On the contrary...

1764
01:44:38,020 --> 01:44:40,140
you think it doesn't exist.

1765
01:44:40,300 --> 01:44:44,060
You're alone. Maybe there is
there are four, at most.

1766
01:44:44,220 --> 01:44:47,460
It's a white thing,
and it's normal.

1767
01:44:48,460 --> 01:44:50,520
I'm a lesbian and not
I have trouble saying this...

1768
01:44:50,620 --> 01:44:54,700
Now. It hasn't always been this way,
but now I'm at peace with myself.

1769
01:44:54,860 --> 01:44:58,660
How old were you when you
Do you understand that you prefer women?

1770
01:44:59,060 --> 01:45:01,300
From elementary school,
a long time ago.

1771
01:45:01,460 --> 01:45:03,460
I just suppressed it completely.

1772
01:45:03,580 --> 01:45:07,260
I was completely
homophobic for a long time.

1773
01:45:07,420 --> 01:45:11,340
Until middle school, I had
this image... I thought...

1774
01:45:11,500 --> 01:45:15,100
If we were talking about homosexuality,
I said violent things, like:

1775
01:45:15,260 --> 01:45:16,960
"It's disgusting!"

1776
01:45:17,060 --> 01:45:19,580
Even though I knew that
it was my case.

1777
01:45:19,740 --> 01:45:23,500
But it seemed so unnatural,
it was so hard for me,

1778
01:45:23,660 --> 01:45:27,700
I didn't accept homosexuality
nobody's. I know it is

1779
01:45:27,860 --> 01:45:31,820
contradictory, but it was mine
way of repressing my sexuality.

1780
01:45:31,980 --> 01:45:35,100
So, I put it aside
and I stopped thinking about it.

1781
01:45:35,260 --> 01:45:37,080
I focused on school.

1782
01:45:37,180 --> 01:45:40,460
But, at a certain point,
you need to express yourself

1783
01:45:40,620 --> 01:45:43,180
and to understand which path to take.

1784
01:45:43,340 --> 01:45:47,620
When I asked around, I heard:
"Homosexuality is a white thing."

1785
01:45:47,780 --> 01:45:50,980
I decided it wasn't a
good time to talk about it.

1786
01:45:51,140 --> 01:45:55,400
Black homosexuals didn't seem like it
exist. I couldn't find anything online either.

1787
01:45:55,500 --> 01:45:59,780
As if it were a "disease
white" and couldn't concern me.

1788
01:45:59,940 --> 01:46:01,240
I felt so alone.

1789
01:46:01,340 --> 01:46:03,620
When I was about 16-17 years old,

1790
01:46:03,780 --> 01:46:07,060
I met Thara,
who I'm still with.

1791
01:46:07,220 --> 01:46:10,420
I realized I wasn't alone.
And she knew others.

1792
01:46:10,580 --> 01:46:13,660
I said, “We are at least
three on Earth!"

1793
01:46:13,940 --> 01:46:18,460
Over time, I've seen them all the time
more, at the Gay Pride parades.

1794
01:46:18,620 --> 01:46:20,620
It was great to see black women.

1795
01:46:20,740 --> 01:46:25,100
But it took years. I'm doing it
short, but it was very difficult.

1796
01:46:25,300 --> 01:46:28,500
I've been to mine
only comfortable for 4 years,

1797
01:46:28,660 --> 01:46:30,860
because I've been with her for 4 years.

1798
01:46:31,020 --> 01:46:33,740
But before it was very difficult.

1799
01:46:33,900 --> 01:46:38,020
I couldn't scream come on
roofs, or say so openly.

1800
01:46:38,180 --> 01:46:41,620
They often asked me if
I had a boyfriend...

1801
01:46:41,780 --> 01:46:46,660
Thanks to her, I feel myself now
strong enough to accept me.

1802
01:46:46,820 --> 01:46:49,500
But my coming out
It was very difficult.

1803
01:46:49,660 --> 01:46:51,400
Very violent.

1804
01:46:51,500 --> 01:46:54,940
Because, my mother... I knew
that he wouldn't accept it.

1805
01:46:55,100 --> 01:46:57,340
I was so afraid of disappointing her,

1806
01:46:57,500 --> 01:47:00,100
I would have preferred to die.

1807
01:47:00,260 --> 01:47:02,620
So, I tried to kill myself.

1808
01:47:02,780 --> 01:47:05,060
I drank alcohol and
took some pills

1809
01:47:05,220 --> 01:47:07,980
and, while I was
dying, I told him.

1810
01:47:08,140 --> 01:47:12,860
He cried both because he saw and

1811
01:47:13,020 --> 01:47:14,920
I was dying, yes
because I was a lesbian.

1812
01:47:15,020 --> 01:47:20,220
When I saw how disappointed she was,
I said, "I did the right thing."

1813
01:47:20,380 --> 01:47:24,420
But the gods have decided
differently and now I'm here.

1814
01:47:24,580 --> 01:47:26,440
I was in the hospital, in a coma.

1815
01:47:26,540 --> 01:47:29,300
They made me
gastric lavage

1816
01:47:29,460 --> 01:47:31,940
and they saved my life.

1817
01:47:32,100 --> 01:47:34,100
But it was close.

1818
01:47:34,220 --> 01:47:37,020
I had swallowed like this
lots of pills and alcohol...

1819
01:47:37,180 --> 01:47:40,300
I had a chance
50% chance of making it out alive.

1820
01:47:40,460 --> 01:47:42,160
So when I have
talked to my mother,

1821
01:47:42,260 --> 01:47:46,200
I said, "I knew I would have you like this
hurt that we would never speak to each other again".

1822
01:47:46,300 --> 01:47:48,620
Which is what
in the end it happened.

1823
01:47:48,780 --> 01:47:50,280
He couldn't accept it.

1824
01:47:50,380 --> 01:47:53,980
I would have preferred to be
dead rather than my mother

1825
01:47:54,140 --> 01:47:56,640
thought I was gay, why
I would have died for her anyway.

1826
01:47:56,740 --> 01:48:01,380
Today I broke off all relationships
with my mother and sister

1827
01:48:01,540 --> 01:48:04,820
because they can't
accept me, even if they say yes.

1828
01:48:04,980 --> 01:48:07,260
But I feel it from the
their behavior.

1829
01:48:07,420 --> 01:48:11,880
I'm not strong enough to deal with
with people who only accept me 80%.

1830
01:48:11,980 --> 01:48:14,500
Either 100%, or nothing.

1831
01:48:14,940 --> 01:48:18,636
I had already tried. She doesn't
he knew it was about this thing.

1832
01:48:18,740 --> 01:48:20,520
I was 15 at the time.

1833
01:48:20,620 --> 01:48:23,620
I was the beginning of mine
relationship with Thara.

1834
01:48:23,780 --> 01:48:26,580
I knew I would
in love with that woman.

1835
01:48:26,740 --> 01:48:30,480
It was like love at first sight,
I knew I had to choose:

1836
01:48:30,580 --> 01:48:33,380
Thara or my mother.
It was too much for me.

1837
01:48:33,540 --> 01:48:36,880
I knew it would change mine
life, so I decided to end it.

1838
01:48:36,980 --> 01:48:38,480
It was too difficult.

1839
01:48:38,580 --> 01:48:43,140
I made the easy choice and
I decided not to decide.

1840
01:48:43,460 --> 01:48:47,020
If I could change
the past, I would never have done it.

1841
01:48:47,660 --> 01:48:49,560
But I still find it sad

1842
01:48:49,660 --> 01:48:52,300
think you're not the only one

1843
01:48:52,460 --> 01:48:55,220
who would rather die
rather than face

1844
01:48:55,380 --> 01:48:58,460
homophobia at work,
racism, homophobia at home.

1845
01:48:58,580 --> 01:49:00,580
It's really difficult.

1846
01:49:00,740 --> 01:49:03,480
That's a lot of discrimination
for such a small body.

1847
01:49:03,580 --> 01:49:05,580
Let's put it this way.

1848
01:50:02,060 --> 01:50:04,700
I would like to get married.
We both would like it.

1849
01:50:04,860 --> 01:50:09,004
We're taking our time,
but I think that's the goal.

1850
01:50:09,780 --> 01:50:11,900
It seems like a logical step.

1851
01:50:12,060 --> 01:50:14,300
It is important for us to unite.

1852
01:50:18,260 --> 01:50:23,060
EPILOGUE
NOT ALL IS LOST

1853
01:50:24,580 --> 01:50:29,100
You've heard of black women before
say they didn't want to

1854
01:50:29,260 --> 01:50:31,440
children in France for
fear of racism?

1855
01:50:31,540 --> 01:50:34,540
I really don't want to have any
for this reason!

1856
01:50:34,900 --> 01:50:37,940
I heard, “I don't want to
raise children here

1857
01:50:38,100 --> 01:50:42,380
because I don't want my children
face the violence I have suffered."

1858
01:50:43,100 --> 01:50:45,860
I would like to have children,

1859
01:50:46,020 --> 01:50:49,340
but would it be in France?

1860
01:50:49,500 --> 01:50:51,040
Would I do them in France?

1861
01:50:51,140 --> 01:50:54,580
In Paris or elsewhere?

1862
01:50:54,740 --> 01:50:56,640
It would be...

1863
01:50:56,740 --> 01:50:58,400
A lot of questions...

1864
01:50:58,500 --> 01:51:00,620
I know I would like to protect them.

1865
01:51:00,780 --> 01:51:05,060
I'd like to make sure
that they know everything

1866
01:51:05,220 --> 01:51:08,300
about their origins,
their history, etc.

1867
01:51:08,460 --> 01:51:11,720
So that they know they can
be whoever they want to be.

1868
01:51:11,820 --> 01:51:12,920
But...

1869
01:51:13,020 --> 01:51:16,660
no caution in the world

1870
01:51:16,820 --> 01:51:19,260
I will save yours
son, here or elsewhere.

1871
01:51:19,420 --> 01:51:22,140
So, yes. I am
already worried.

1872
01:51:23,300 --> 01:51:26,660
If you are white and do
trouble when you're young,

1873
01:51:27,220 --> 01:51:29,680
It's not a big deal.
You are not a criminal.

1874
01:51:29,780 --> 01:51:31,200
You're just young.

1875
01:51:31,300 --> 01:51:34,920
"Poor thing, he's a good boy.
He deserves a second chance."

1876
01:51:35,020 --> 01:51:37,020
You can be carefree.

1877
01:51:38,980 --> 01:51:40,640
When you are privileged,

1878
01:51:40,740 --> 01:51:44,740
you don't have to
worry about fighting.

1879
01:51:44,900 --> 01:51:46,900
This too is
be carefree.

1880
01:51:47,020 --> 01:51:50,020
I would like my children
they lived like this, but...

1881
01:51:51,900 --> 01:51:54,980
or protect them in
a bubble and risks

1882
01:51:55,140 --> 01:51:59,500
that the bubble will eventually burst.
And it's bound to happen.

1883
01:51:59,980 --> 01:52:04,540
Or, you worry about everything and
you can say goodbye to carefreeness.

1884
01:52:05,300 --> 01:52:07,708
I don't like any of them
of the two situations.

1885
01:52:08,860 --> 01:52:10,680
That's it.

1886
01:52:10,780 --> 01:52:13,620
But I don't want to
pass on to them

1887
01:52:13,780 --> 01:52:16,860
the fear of being vulnerable:

1888
01:52:17,180 --> 01:52:19,800
of having to grit my teeth,
without being able to cry.

1889
01:52:19,900 --> 01:52:22,660
Being black doesn't mean
not being able to cry.

1890
01:52:22,820 --> 01:52:24,892
We can cry,
as well as laughing.

1891
01:52:26,180 --> 01:52:28,540
What I want to say is...

1892
01:52:28,940 --> 01:52:31,130
be solid and have feet
planted on the ground

1893
01:52:31,140 --> 01:52:34,260
it doesn't mean to be
insensitive and dehumanized.

1894
01:52:34,580 --> 01:52:37,300
I need yes
feel black and proud.

1895
01:52:37,580 --> 01:52:41,740
I want them to feel French
but also know their history.

1896
01:52:41,900 --> 01:52:46,300
Without thinking that we are Caribbean
and we haven't always been here.

1897
01:52:46,460 --> 01:52:50,100
Explaining slavery, the
colonization, the difficulties

1898
01:52:50,260 --> 01:52:55,020
that they will have to face when
they will confront racism

1899
01:52:55,180 --> 01:52:58,460
and homophobia.
Because they will have two mothers.

1900
01:52:59,660 --> 01:53:04,260
Having children in France
It's a real question.

1901
01:53:04,420 --> 01:53:06,040
But...

1902
01:53:06,140 --> 01:53:09,140
strangely, not
I can see myself elsewhere.

1903
01:53:09,580 --> 01:53:14,380
I'm one of those people
who criticizes the system but...

1904
01:53:15,900 --> 01:53:17,680
which remains here

1905
01:53:17,780 --> 01:53:20,900
I am tied to this country.

1906
01:53:21,060 --> 01:53:24,060
I can't deny it.

1907
01:53:24,380 --> 01:53:28,380
I can't predict the future
and I might have to leave.

1908
01:53:29,220 --> 01:53:33,300
I have often wondered
if I had to leave.

1909
01:53:33,460 --> 01:53:35,980
I think that's a real question.

1910
01:53:36,140 --> 01:53:38,180
As for children and

1911
01:53:38,340 --> 01:53:41,060
the fact of transmitting
their knowledge,

1912
01:53:41,380 --> 01:53:44,540
I think it's important...

1913
01:53:46,180 --> 01:53:51,140
I want to pass on to them
that there is always a way.

1914
01:53:51,380 --> 01:53:54,620
Not all is lost.
There is a way to live here.

1915
01:53:54,860 --> 01:53:58,100
I hope to give them
the best weapons,

1916
01:53:58,260 --> 01:54:01,540
I say deliberately
"weapons", for...

1917
01:54:03,260 --> 01:54:05,280
so that they can defend themselves
and to encourage them to

1918
01:54:05,380 --> 01:54:09,020
develop the
own strategies...

1919
01:54:11,300 --> 01:54:14,980
so as not to forget
never the fact of being black.

1920
01:54:15,500 --> 01:54:17,440
As they told me
my parents.

1921
01:54:17,540 --> 01:54:19,940
I thought they were exaggerating.

1922
01:54:20,100 --> 01:54:23,180
I didn't understand why we had to
do twice as much as the others.

1923
01:54:24,260 --> 01:54:26,420
They weren't entirely wrong.

1924
01:54:27,700 --> 01:54:30,420
That situation irritates me
it's so bad.

1925
01:54:32,180 --> 01:54:34,120
I like living in France,

1926
01:54:34,220 --> 01:54:36,500
but people make it impossible

1927
01:54:36,660 --> 01:54:39,020
with its racism.

1928
01:54:39,180 --> 01:54:43,900
Once you get here, there is a

1929
01:54:44,060 --> 01:54:47,260
wall of racism
that crushes you.

1930
01:54:47,580 --> 01:54:49,780
But I don't know if...

1931
01:54:49,940 --> 01:54:53,100
I just can't
say whether I will leave or not.

1932
01:54:53,260 --> 01:54:55,380
That said, if things will be

1933
01:54:55,540 --> 01:54:59,780
exactly
same in 10 years...

1934
01:54:59,980 --> 01:55:02,020
20 years from now, I don't know.

1935
01:55:03,820 --> 01:55:06,000
I don't have the sphere of
crystal, but even if

1936
01:55:06,100 --> 01:55:10,420
you like a place, if
you always get rejected,

1937
01:55:10,580 --> 01:55:13,220
you finally accept
that isn't for you.

1938
01:55:13,380 --> 01:55:15,500
The worst part is
when they say:

1939
01:55:15,660 --> 01:55:18,200
"If you don't like the country
you can always leave."

1940
01:55:18,300 --> 01:55:20,460
It's a vicious circle.

1941
01:55:21,420 --> 01:55:23,620
They don't understand your anger.

1942
01:55:23,780 --> 01:55:25,780
It's just awful

1943
01:55:27,940 --> 01:55:32,020
when they belittle you by saying:
"It's like this, take it or leave it."

1944
01:55:32,540 --> 01:55:34,600
If we ask ourselves these
questions, and why

1945
01:55:34,700 --> 01:55:38,300
we want to legitimize
our status here.

1946
01:55:39,660 --> 01:55:42,540
I've been fighting all of them for 10 years

1947
01:55:42,700 --> 01:55:44,940
these forms of discrimination

1948
01:55:46,700 --> 01:55:48,240
and I feel the full weight of it.

1949
01:55:48,340 --> 01:55:51,660
I need a change of scenery.

1950
01:55:52,140 --> 01:55:53,440
Go away for a while.

1951
01:55:53,540 --> 01:55:56,660
I know that no place is perfect.

1952
01:55:56,900 --> 01:55:58,960
"Try to improve
the place you are in..."

1953
01:55:59,060 --> 01:56:01,380
I tried and I'm tired.

1954
01:56:01,540 --> 01:56:04,440
I just want to start over
head elsewhere with my children.

1955
01:56:04,540 --> 01:56:07,580
Maybe we'll return, but I'm
trying to leave.

1956
01:56:08,180 --> 01:56:09,680
We all have our limits.

1957
01:56:09,780 --> 01:56:12,380
In Islam we say:

1958
01:56:12,540 --> 01:56:16,020
"God does not burden a soul
more than I can bear."

1959
01:56:16,300 --> 01:56:19,940
So if possible, it would be
a privilege to leave.

1960
01:56:20,100 --> 01:56:22,180
I'm trying to make it happen.

1961
01:56:22,340 --> 01:56:25,740
But if there is an opportunity,

1962
01:56:25,900 --> 01:56:27,900
I have no qualms about leaving.

1963
01:56:28,060 --> 01:56:30,340
I think I fought enough.

1964
01:56:30,500 --> 01:56:32,880
It's not like I have any left
just sitting

1965
01:56:32,980 --> 01:56:35,580
to wait for the
change occurred.

1966
01:56:35,740 --> 01:56:37,520
No, I fought.

1967
01:56:37,620 --> 01:56:39,740
I did mine.

1968
01:56:39,900 --> 01:56:42,020
It's time to move on.

1969
01:56:44,740 --> 01:56:49,060
Sometimes I wonder, but I am
still linked to France.

1970
01:56:50,820 --> 01:56:55,020
There aren't enough of them yet
tired to want to leave.

1971
01:56:56,420 --> 01:56:59,220
I feel a sense
of responsibility...

1972
01:57:01,060 --> 01:57:04,380
If we want France
changes, we have to do it here.

1973
01:57:04,540 --> 01:57:06,940
You have to do it in France.

1974
01:57:07,860 --> 01:57:10,940
You can't do it from afar.

1975
01:57:11,180 --> 01:57:12,640
It's true, when I met

1976
01:57:12,740 --> 01:57:17,740
the United States
for a month and a half

1977
01:57:17,900 --> 01:57:21,780
and discovered their way to
work, create, think...

1978
01:57:21,940 --> 01:57:25,780
Why all these things
they feed each other.

1979
01:57:28,060 --> 01:57:30,180
It's a virtuous circle.

1980
01:57:30,340 --> 01:57:32,940
I thought that
it was fantastic.

1981
01:57:33,100 --> 01:57:37,780
Brooklyn, with all the Jews and
the afros... I felt like I was at home.

1982
01:57:38,900 --> 01:57:41,460
Then I realized that
I had to continue here.

1983
01:57:41,620 --> 01:57:44,900
It would be a step backwards...

1984
01:57:47,580 --> 01:57:50,700
if I don't stay here and take advantage

1985
01:57:51,780 --> 01:57:54,160
of what also the
France has to offer.

1986
01:57:54,260 --> 01:57:56,740
France has a lot
to offer, but some

1987
01:57:56,900 --> 01:58:01,380
they don't want us to have
access to those things.

1988
01:58:01,540 --> 01:58:02,960
That's all.

1989
01:58:03,060 --> 01:58:07,740
You're a bit like James Baldwin. It's yours
country, don't let them kick you out.

1990
01:58:08,980 --> 01:58:12,920
Somehow, I would hate to go
because there is still so much to do.

1991
01:58:13,020 --> 01:58:17,420
It would mean preventing
for France to progress.

1992
01:58:17,580 --> 01:58:20,200
If you look carefully, those
who leave often

1993
01:58:20,300 --> 01:58:23,820
people who can
teach France a lot.

1994
01:58:23,980 --> 01:58:26,780
And that doesn't help
France to move forward.

1995
01:58:26,980 --> 01:58:28,840
Everything still remains to be done.

1996
01:58:28,940 --> 01:58:33,100
Especially regarding
my fight for black lesbians.

1997
01:58:33,260 --> 01:58:35,260
In the United States...

1998
01:58:36,860 --> 01:58:39,380
things are going well.

1999
01:58:39,540 --> 01:58:41,540
But here, there is nothing.

2000
01:58:41,820 --> 01:58:46,060
Even for this reason alone,
I'm not leaving yet.

2001
01:58:46,220 --> 01:58:49,740
It's strange, but I feel it
at home in France.

2002
01:58:49,900 --> 01:58:52,820
Especially in Paris.

2003
01:58:52,980 --> 01:58:55,860
Could you tell me the
worse things, but

2004
01:58:56,020 --> 01:58:58,980
I don't care.
This is my house.

2005
01:58:59,140 --> 01:59:01,900
Be as racist as you want,
it depends on you.

2006
01:59:02,060 --> 01:59:03,520
This is your problem.

2007
01:59:03,620 --> 01:59:05,620
Consequently...

2008
01:59:06,740 --> 01:59:08,740
sometimes I think:

2009
01:59:08,860 --> 01:59:11,340
"I can't take it anymore.
I'm in a country

2010
01:59:11,500 --> 01:59:13,680
where I'm at home, but not
I'm still welcome."

2011
01:59:13,780 --> 01:59:16,060
And I think I'm leaving.

2012
01:59:16,220 --> 01:59:20,100
But it wouldn't be a freedom,
but more of an exile.

2013
01:59:20,260 --> 01:59:22,040
If I were to leave to live from

2014
01:59:22,140 --> 01:59:25,300
somewhere else
for a long time,

2015
01:59:25,460 --> 01:59:29,780
I would see it, at least
for now, like an exile.

2016
01:59:30,340 --> 01:59:32,200
I would like to be somewhere
part in the world.

2017
01:59:32,300 --> 01:59:36,340
I know I will travel, but I want to
anyway something solid.

2018
01:59:36,500 --> 01:59:38,980
That is, they would be
Zaire and Rwanda.

2019
01:59:39,140 --> 01:59:41,560
But also France,
especially Brittany.

2020
01:59:41,660 --> 01:59:43,820
After that,
they can be others,

2021
01:59:43,980 --> 01:59:46,540
but this is where I feel at home.

2022
01:59:46,700 --> 01:59:51,420
It's my fight against those who
they say, "You're not really French."

2023
01:59:51,580 --> 01:59:53,780
I'm French and I'm staying here.

2024
01:59:53,940 --> 01:59:57,300
My children too
they will remain, and not for long.

2025
01:59:57,460 --> 02:00:02,740
This is also the idea, I'm from here
and I have no intention of leaving.

2026
02:02:01,980 --> 02:02:04,780
Goofy 50 subtitles
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